" I'm ugly, I'm foolish,
I am a disappointment.
I work hard, I try to be good,
but I'm always a failure.
The very people I care about
I can't seem to make happy.
The very things I hold dear,
I am ridiculed for.
I worry about other's feelings,
but no one gives a thought to mine.
I feel that in my heart I am right,
but everyone tells me I am wrong.
I can't seem to stop crying,
but it seems no one can start listening.
I seek guidance, I seek love,
but all I get is others' justified negativity.
I want to be a good person, I try so hard,
but cruel, hateful and inconsiderate people are saints
next to me.........
I'm told to always reach for my dreams, then when I do,
the very person who always told me
now doesn't understand why I am reaching.
I'm in need of an understanding mother,
but instead I have a parent whose heart
has turned cold to my feelings, ears which have
become deaf to my pleas.
I'm in need of a friend to be happy for me,
but instead I get someone trying to talk me out
of the one thing that feels perfect and right,
the one thing that makes my life worth living.
But I'll see beyond the ignorance this pain pulls over
my eyes, I'll see the goodness in me,
I'll pull through the rain, and I will find
my life and my happiness waiting for me. "
written 3-28-2001
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