THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN   Author:  3125  Category:(Humor) Created:(3/29/2001 10:46:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (408 times) THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN . . . (HONEST AND NO KIDDING): A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. Super glue is forever. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in my town has a 5 minute response time. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. Cats really can swim when necessary.. .Cat hair can plug a swimming pool filter. Dogs do not become reindeer when a sled is tied to them . Dogs can go very fast when running for a ball,even when a sled is tied to them . TV sets do not need watering to make the little people grow. 911 has less response time than our fire department. 911 do wonders for trembling half-crazed mothers. The minds of 3 to 6 year olds are amazing....I attempted to fix this but it can be read the way it is.. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  3125 ( Click here ) Spring is coming