I AM A FORGINVING PERSON MOM, I JUST WONT FORGET...by hairbear   Author:  16164  Category:(Poetry) Created:(6/23/2001 8:35:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (363 times) why did you hurt me so? I often wondered why I feel it like yesterday even as time passes by.... you always took his side! never to listen to mine. you will see the truth some day...some day in time. I remember crying myself to sleep, alone in my bed..... why didnt you ever care about me? the questoined burning in my head.... I remember when you would leave, to go to the store, I would run up to my room and always lock the door!!! I tried to keep my mind some where in a good book, so I wouldnt have to listen to his words or see his look...... I remember when I went to school... with the his hand upon my face. gosh mom...I was so embarrased I felt nothing more then discraced. So tired was I, from crying myself to sleep.... I couldnt keep my head up in class, let alone good grades to keep. I tried so hard.... you know... to get myself an A or a B but i let you down......, and only got a D. I remember feeling so... stupid you thought that was all I could do. I wanted nothing more than to try to please you. I felt like I was never good enough, to please you I could never acheive. I tried to tell you the truth but still you never would beleive. I remember spending many nights, walking alone in the dark and rain. MOM,he threw my bags out with me and told you I did it again. scared and frightened I knew you didnt care. to call and let you know I was alright well..I didnt dare. I hid under a porch, in the dark all alone. I thought no one would see me, under here was better then home. I remember thinking I was not a bad child, the way the talked about me you would swear I was wild. I had a hard time being with my friends, all of their parents thought I was soo sad. I would knock on their door, and I was told my mom said I was bad I really wanted some one to help me. but no one would listen to a child gone wrong. they knew how I was.... my parenets told them the song. I remember no matter what I went to school, it was the only safe place for me. school would get me places I will get far if I stayed you see. I always went no matter my bruise... i would rather stick it out here then to lose. I remember asking my mom..... why dont you love me? she said if you would only listen, this would never be. but mom! I would cry. I didnt do anything! she thought she knew, it was no good for me to sing. all those lonly nights out on the street. and those days in school, when I would fall asleep. sometimes I wonder.... what it would have been like, if my mom would have listened and done me right? sometimes I really hated her for what she did, the many years that went by all the time she wasted. one day she saw the truth with a smaller member of my family. she parked her car around the corner, peeked in through a side window to finally see. I was telling the truth all those times before. she stormed into the house and said, you aint gonna hit my kids no more!!!! but she never did keep her word. it was always the same. people ignored it. and all stayed the same. I remember one time, my mom came to me, to say she knew, and that she was sorry. all those years just wasted me by, and I looked at my mom with tears in my eye.... mom I know you saw, but you never wanted to really see, that when you werent around, he really did beat me.... I cried so many nights. wondered why I was so alone? wondering when you would ask, honey why dont you come home? there were so many days.... when i couldnt open my eye, I was all cried out, and wished I would die. I kept my head up ... and made it on my own. I didnt have your help... you left me all alone. I would sit and think how much could I hate? I couldnt stand the thought of you, but I loved you, so I would debate I thought maybe mom you really didnt see..... I know you did though, I could tell when ever you looked at me. I never thought I could feel so ashamed..... I always thought you were right... that I was to blame. but I wasnt. I was only a child. it wasnt me who was mad. it was you mom.... you were in denial. I AM A FORGIVING PERSON MOM , BUT I TELL YOU I WILL NEVER FORGET! the way you ignored me..... nor will i regret. although I wished thing would have been different, what i went through growing up taught me to be very strong, I can make it through life......... and write my own song. when ever i think back, I thought my mom hated me, she did love but ignored deliberatly. so in her life things did remain the same, I hope mine goes different...... I am tired of living that game. so every now and then when I start to cry, It is because i thought of my youth, and I pat my eyes dry. I will never forget that my mom said she was sorry but at least she knows how much SHE really did hurt me. (teachers adn freinds and parents of friends could help other kids out.not everyone is strong enough to last the world alone, most will end up in jail, getting suspened all the time from school,they are not lazy or stupid, or just plain old dont want to get good grades, there maybe a reason and teachers just dont know, and would rather stand by and tell the kid you lazy and you dont want to work on your schooling, you dont do homework or nothing, dont tear the kid up even more.Ive been there done that and they were morons, if I didnt know how much of a moron these people were I would have never made it, i knew they ere ignorant and I didnt let them get to me cuz.....what do they know. and people will always think the kid is bad.........well.........not always the case) You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  16164 ( Click here ) Spring is coming