#ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 a.m. The blonde wife picked it up, listened a moment and said, "how should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband asked, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast was clear."
#TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here,let me see!" and takes the compact from her. She then looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
#THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,you're next!"
#FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of State capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "W."
#FIVE
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"
#SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in an horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" he gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are ou OK, ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine." the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began,."I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere the TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there as another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was..." "Uh, ma'am, the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That must be your air freshener swinging back and forth."
#SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crimes. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
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