Long ago, in the days when sailing ships ruled the waves, a brave captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a ship full of evil pirates. The crew began to panic as they readied their defense, and the captain called out to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate ducked below deck and retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and then led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although there were a few minor casualties among the crew, the pirates were driven away.
The next day, the ship ran afoul of a larger vessel of pirates, who sent a boarding party of fierce buccanneers. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain remained calm as he called out to the Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The crew calmed down, inspired by their Captain's bravery and his devotion to his traditions, and managed to repel the pirates again, though not without a few more casualties.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences. A young sailor looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why do you always call for your red shirt before a battle?" The Captain smiled at the young man and said, "You see, If I am ever wounded in the battle, the red shirt will not show the blood, and thus, my men will continue to fight unafraid."
Just then, the lookout screamed out a warning - an entire fleet of pirate ships were coming over the horizon to surround them! As the marauders assembled around the ship, preparing their boarding parties, the crew took their places and silently looked to their Captain for his command.
The Captain looked over the approaching pirates and called to his First Mate, "Bring me my brown pants!"
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