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Church Bulletin Bloopers!!! *fallinstar*

  Author:  11525  Category:(Humor) Created:(8/1/2001 9:07:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (349 times)

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.- prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Hope you enjoyed these. I thought they were so funny, and wanted to share them with you. *fallinstar*

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Show all stories by   Author:  11525 ( Click here )

Spring is coming

Replies:      
Date: 8/1/2001 9:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 41901    TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love them!
KuteKitten
Date: 8/1/2001 10:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 36540    fallinstar these are really funny i espeacially like this one "At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. " lolololololololol should i show these to my youth director ha ha ha ha ha ha ha thanx for sharing these really made me laugh -Tim Da Man
  
Date: 8/1/2001 10:49:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 11525    Yeah I really liked them too. Can you believe these actually came out in church bulletins? That is what makes them so funny. *fallinstar*  
Date: 8/2/2001 11:06:00 AM  From Authorid: 34159    Oh my ...you have absolutely no idea how much these just made me laugh..I had to read them in instalments Mrs Macphisto  
Date: 8/2/2001 12:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 20069    lol these are so funny do you mind if i post them at opendiary? i will give you credit, please message me
  
Date: 8/2/2001 5:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 36994    oh those were funny...lol......hehe good 1 i needed the post!!  

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