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Resume Mistakes...IceQueen420

  Author:  19220  Category:(Humor) Created:(8/2/2001 9:56:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (346 times)

Resume Mistakes





How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:



"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil."

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

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Replies:      
Date: 8/2/2001 10:11:00 PM  From Authorid: 19625    LMAO! That's Funny! I liked that. Much Love,  
Date: 8/2/2001 10:13:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 19220    Thanks. It came in my e-mail today from a friend...hehehehe LOL  
Date: 8/2/2001 11:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 20956    lol ~ they were good! :) specially liked the german one  
Date: 8/3/2001 5:42:00 AM  From Authorid: 27051    i love the voice mail one and the last one!!!  
Date: 8/3/2001 9:23:00 AM  From Authorid: 39308    LMAO!!!!That's Hilarious!!!I loved it..... (V)agical (V)yst =p  

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