Would you read these please and tell me what your honest opinion is?~~Volleygirl   Author:  33573  Category:(Discussion) Created:(10/5/2001 7:06:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (219 times) Ok for English we have been working on writing. We are starting out with paragraphs for now. We have done two so far, narrative and descriptive paragraphs. I am going to show you mine and I want your honest opinion on them please. I have never been a good writer and still am not, I would just like to know what you think. Thank you! Narrative Paragraph 9-24-01 One night during an open gym volleyball at the high school gym, I got hit in the head with a volleyball. We started playing a game and we had a mix of freshmen, junior varsity, and varsity. This girl that was serving had a very fast and hard serve. So she served and the ball was heading towards me so I yelled "mine," and all of a sudden "boom!" Everyone asked me if I was alright. I couldn't really feel my mouth at the time because the bottom half of my face felt numb and it hurt. After the game, I realized that I had cut my upper lip. This was the first "open gym" I went to this year and surely one I won't forget soon. This next one, my teacher had a bunch of calendar pictures and we had to pick one that we liked and write about it in present tense like we were there. Descriptive Paragraph 10-04-01 As I look out the window of the Boeing 747, I feel very relaxed and at peace. The endless sea stretches below me, and I marvel at the deep azure water. There are islands in a cluster with emerald green trees. It is a nice and sunny afternoon, but when I look off to my right, it seems misty, like it's hiding something. As I think of what it may be hiding, the sounds of people talking fill the background, and I can feel the cool air blowing down at my face. I imagine that I am down on the beach on one of those islands below me. I can almost feel the sun's rays beaming down at me. Soon I am snorkeling along the Coral Reef. My dreams are interrupted by the flight attendant announcing that the plane is going to land in about 20 minutes, and I would soon be there. Those are the two that we have done so far. Please comment to share your opinion. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  33573 ( Click here ) Spring is coming