My best friend and her husband (who were like a sister and a brother to me. The three of us were as close as three people could be.)died in a car accident 12 years ago. I always felt guilty because 1) before they died we were having a late night breakfast at a restraunt I had turned them on to. 2) I was suposed to go home that night with them and had a creepy feeling that something was wrong at home. So instead I went home and told them Id see them the next day. I was the last living soul to see them alive! They were about to start thier family and that night had asked me to be the God-mother of thier babies! I said Yes, and was totally thrilled with thier request. and 3) I lived and they died! It was not fair. I often wonder if my surviving was a blessing to me or a punishment, but often wish the three musketeers were still together. One way or another.
Often over the past twelve years, when I have needed a friend or just a shoulder to cry on, when I have needed Sharon's friendship the most and when I am down, out, or just plain depressed I dream about her and Lee. Most of the time I am sitting on a river bank looking at a beautiful sunset and one or both of them (most of the time her) come to me, sit down and we talk. It's like they never died.
In life she and I grew up together and we could sit a room for hours basically say nothing just occasionally exchange glances or snickers and know exactly what the other was thinking. We seemed to have a phychic connection. A connection that apparently even death has not broken!
And since her death those times when we talk nothing is different. I know just by looking at her what she is telling me or thinking and she knows what I am there for and what is going on in my life and never do I have to tell her a thing. Oh we do talk, I tell her how much I miss her and Lee. And most times she reminds me that both of them are right there with me whenever I need them. And that they love me and always will, no matter what or who I do!
Usually when I leave them, we all hug and say good-bye. I usually step into a boat and start across the river, as I look back and wave I see them waving and a fog soon engolfs them and they disappear into it.
I wake with a smile and a refreshed outlook. And a warm feeling to know my guardian angels are there watching over me, but I still miss them terribly!! However, as long as I can dream I can see them, feel them and thier love, touch them, and spend time with them in my dreams. And they will forever be in my heart!! How it changed my life:It changed my life because I am able to talk about or out my problems and find solutions. I feel as if Im not totally alone and know that when my time does finally come they will be there to guide me into the next level of my exsistence.
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