I lost my child on Thurseday   Author:  46005  Category:(Discussion) Created:(12/8/2001 10:39:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (442 times) Thurseday evening I went out with my husband to celebrate my birthday. I got my mother-n-law to watch my 8 month old son, Alexander. Well my husband and I decided to go to the dog track, and bet on a few races. I had only been there for an hour when all the sudden a miscarriage took place. I was only ten weeks pregnant, and very excited about my pregnancy, i had a ultrasound early that morning. I planned my pregnancy, and did everything right. I didnt drink, smoke, do drugs. My husband is NOT abusive, and I had such a perfect pregnancy with my son, I couldnt beleive this happened to me. I havent cried, and that makes me feel even worse. I should cry for this unborn child of mine that is no longer with me, in my stomach. I should feel lost, but I feel it happened for a reason.... The reason I'm posting this is because i want to ask am I selfish?????? The doctor said that he possibly could plug the mouth of the uterouse, but i had hemorraged so bad, and almost had to have a blood transfusion. He asked would you like for me to try and save this baby, with the understanding that something could be terribly wrong with this child, and a miscarriage could take place again in only a couple weeks. I would have had to stay in the hospital for weeks, maybe a month. I DO NOT beleive in abortion, yet the paper I sighned said (helpful termination) they helped me to finish the miscarriage. The took the baby out of me. I was thinking of my baby boy at home, and that even if i had this baby, it could be mentally retarded or disfigured..... Did I make a bad choice? Should I have did everything possible for this baby....? Or did a bad thing happen to me, and I made the same choice everyone else would have made..... Thankyou for taking time to let me share my pain, it helps to talk to someone about it.... that isnt family. all they can say is I'm sorry! Also, as strange as this may sound... When i got pregnant with my 8 month old son, I was so connected, i always felt my tummy, and read to him. I sung to him, and played music for him. I knew he was a boy my first month of pregnancy. When i was 5 months they said He was a girl, I said nope,,, he is a boy. I knew.... I knew he would have blue eyes. I dreamed his face. When I got pregnant this past time, i was happy, but I couldnt for some reason get attached. I couldnt find it in me to feel emotionally attached to this pregnancy. Maybe my body knew something iddnt .. They say womens bodies know when there is a problem You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  46005 ( Click here ) Spring is coming