well here it is almost christmas and it feels almost like any other day......not really.....this is different, a different feeling for the year.....christmas is a time of giving and love....looking for the one thing people want , just to see the smile on their faces.looking for the one thing to make to eat, to watch the looks on their faces as the freshly made pie passes under their nose....mmmmmmmm....doesnt that smell good.....so many people wanting to find that special person to sneak a kiss under the mistle toe, to pass a gift into the hands of the one you love......but at times I think alot of people forget what the meaning of christmas is about......fot the past few christmas's I have longed for one thing for my daughter and myself....something lot forget about.......time.....I wanted time for christmas.....of anything we could have gotten for the holidays we have always wanted time......time with my family making dinner, time to sit, telling stories of christmas's gone by.time sitting watching movies, the kids running about the house, showing off their presents they had just opened.......we had time together, my daughter and I, but something was missing.....TIME with my side of the family, and her fathers side of the family......I would make a dinner and we would eat it on our own.Her father, well he was always doing something more important with everyone else......my side, well they didnt want to really come over because of his side of the family, and his side didnt want to come over either.....I had longed for the christmas where the whole family would gather around the dinner table and just be....a family......i remember opening presents and being the only one there to see the look on my little angels face.I wanted to cry as I heard each tear of the wrapping pull off.....she was so happy to be with me, her dad would pop up every now and than to ask if we were done yet, but I always smiled at her....she was so happy to have me there......she didnt need anyone else there to be happy, all she needed was my time, to sit and watch her open what santa brought her.....I didnt have much to get her, but stilll she would always tell me the best present she had was that I was there with her....she is so special you know.she is so very smart too....for her to know at such a young age that being there with her was the best thing she had gotten made me so proud.....My baby girl is really smart you know.....smarter than most......or maybe it is the fact that I am being stupid.....that here a mere child sits knowing that time and love is the most valuble gift to give, well that makes me feel greedy and really stupid.....most people are like me....I want all these things, material things, thinking that the practice of giving a gift is so very important, when in reality it is not......she let me know every year that the spirit of christmas is me with her, letting her know that I love her, and that she loves me.....that when I give her a hug, it is her favorite part of christmas, and she really didnt need all those things under the tree........ my girl knows what christmas is and why it is celebrated....it is a birthday for jesus, and that we should be happy and joyous, not sad because of what we give to each other, all our store bought love can never make up for what she gives me, and out of all her gifts she receives, my love is her favorite of all.......... so this year I may be a bit short on money, she is going to get what I can give her.......I only wish I could stuff her stocking with tons of love, the way she fills my heart....I wish I could wrap all her worries and toss them away.........I wish I could fill beneath the tree the way she has filled my life......so I go out this year in search for presents and cheer..........but I will never be able to give her what she has given me everyday.....all the joy she has brought into my life.....my heart is my stocking hung by the chimney with care, and her laughter and smile is what she puts into there....... I hope to walk through life with my heart as open as hers, always giving and never wanting anything in return other than for me to love her back......I will never forget what the 6 years of her life so far has taught me......I have been greedy with my heart, I only want the best for her, and she only want my love from me.....I will always love and cherish her forever even after death do we ever part love her.my baby to me is christmas......she is the family gathered around the table laughing and holding me......she is the child running through the house......she is the one who to me is forever christmas, so pure and innocent, never wanting anything more than my time and love.......the spirit of christmas is what she wants........I shall not take for granted the holiday, I will not misunderstand what it means.....nor shall I take advantage of a day for celebrating the birth of jesus......I hope everyone here feels the same.....the act of giving gifts isnt whats just in the wrapper......it is the act of giving the gift of love.....so find your misltoe and hang it over the door, and just stand there kissing those who pass under it......just dont go over board.....hehe......well I have learned alot from my daughter, hope you have too.....happy holidays:O)............. ..........LOVE HAIRBEAR
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