Date: 2/4/2002 11:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 47162
if he is hiding it, does that mean he only smokes like two or three smokes a day? Or does he do whole packs a day? This whole hiding thing might not be to bad a situation if it forces him to do only three or so smokes a day!  |
Date: 2/5/2002 12:07:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
Well i have no idea of how much he smokes a day, coz he hides it! Still 2 or 3 smokes is bad. hes gonna end up killing himself with those...and i HATE them soo much, why did someone invent them??????? gggggggr  |
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Date: 2/5/2002 12:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 47162
silver you got me. You could try some modeling in front of him. Do like a dangerous thing right in front of him. He'll correct you, and might open up a talk about smoking. It worked on the Cosby show. So it has to work i real life : |
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Date: 2/5/2002 12:13:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
Really? humm thats a good idea..Actually you reminded me of what mum said that my sister and i could do..mum will buy as a pack of smokes and then we would pretend to smoke them..dad would come and we would tty and hide them..or something like that! But i like your idea..it would make him relize..like somethimes i eat like chocolate heaps of it or something..and dad tells me how bad it is for me ..i should tell him that hes clogging up his heart veins!! But its kinda hard to tell him, thats just my problem! Bill cosby is actually a good roll model! |
Date: 2/5/2002 12:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 21867
Yo Wolfie,
Okay...I'm a smoker so I can relate. First up...you guys have told ya Dad how you feel, that you don't approve and no doubt your concerns for his health etc...but believe me, always getting on him about it is just gonna cause MORE harm than good. What ya need to realise is that smoking is perhaps THE most addictive thing you can do. Personally I found it easier to give up using much harder, more negatively painted substances, than tobacco...its one of the strongest hooks there is...and breaking from the addiction is a wicked nightmare for most peeps. I've quit a coupla times, but the desire...the burn...the craving and how I am when I'm NOT smoking is just so intense I soon go back to smoking. Sure - some people can just quit and go cold turkey just like that...but they are few and fair between...so while ya might not understand the grasp smoking can have on ya when ya hooked, please try to understand it a little. Your Dad loves you, and ya mom, and everyone else who cares for him...the fact he is STILL smoking regardless is not any indication that he doesn't love you all, or doesn't want a harmonious household, or that he doesn't want to quit...instead its MORE a testiment to the powerful hold tobacco can have over people. Not only that...riding ya Dad about his smoking WILL cause conflict...for its like any other drug...and drug addicts tend to get a little tense when peeps try to remove their 'hit' from them. Also, I know you mean well...but honestly, riding someone about something you don't approve of is normally not a good way to get them to change their ways...for it is negatively focussed...and change normally happens from a POSITIVE basis. For instance, there have been a number of studies that have indicated that riding someone about their wieght doesn't motivate them to lose wieght...if anything that person gains MORE wieght, for they become MORE focussed on unhealthy habits. Maybe you guys should just let ya old man know you don't approve, want him to stop and then leave it at that...try not to make an big issue of it. Your Dad knows how you all feel I'm sure...and I'm sure there is part of him that wishes to quit (I know I do)...but he really needs to do it in HIS time, when HE'S ready...anything else really ain't got a high chance of success. There are a number of really good Stop Smoking aids/methods available at the moment...so maybe just providing him the information and leaving it up to him might be worth a try. Peace,  |
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Date: 2/5/2002 12:29:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
Yeah thanks for the advice ASmith, i'm sure you know how he feels..But dude, hes actuallt ending his life by about 10 years!!:( he won't stop..so i spose i'll just have to live with that fact! I'm to shamed to even tell any of my friends!:( Maybe there is some phamplets that will help?? i hope so..thanks for your advice, and taking time out to comment!! *hugz* Luv, |
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Date: 2/5/2002 12:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 21867
Yo Wolfie,
No problem...and yep, smoking does indeed greatly reduce your life expectancy. Phamplets with relevant info can be obtained from most chemists, or phone that Quit Line here in NZ...they might be able to help you out. All the best...its a hard road...but you sound like a strong person, so just stick by ya Dad okay, I hope it all works out in the end. Peace, |
Date: 2/5/2002 1:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 49546
Same thing happened with me. Except my mom was smoking and hiding it from my dad. I didn't want to do anything because i didn't know what she would do. But i left her small little hints. Like i knew where she hid her ciggareetes so i took me and threw them away!! she never confronted me but i knew that she knew!!! and guess what she quit!!! hope this helps!!! *~*I_LUV_CATS*~*  |
Date: 2/5/2002 2:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 42259
It's a horrible habit,and I've been trying to get my dad to stop too,but with no sucess.I'm really allergic to cig.smoke too so when he wants to smoke he goes outside.He actually spends more time outside than he does in the house!  |
Date: 2/5/2002 4:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 49080
This isn't a situation to get mad and argue over because that is just not going to help. It is going to make him want to do it more. Tell him that you know that he does and them put a guilt trip on him. Find some pictures that show what your lungs look like when you smoke and what getting eat up with cancer looks like! Then tell him that you love him and you want him to be there for you, your brother, and your sisters when you guys grow up. I think that will make him think a little harder. Maybe if you go and buy him a patch then quitting smoking won't be so bad. I hope it helps! - Sweet September  |
Date: 2/5/2002 5:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 27046
You have done what you can do and like Agent Smith said and a few others, guilt trips, getting angry with him, throwing pictures and pamphlets at him is not going to help. HE has to want to quit for himself and NO ONE else or he won't be successful in kicking the habit. It's like any other drug addiction out there, it has to be up to the person. Heroine addicts will tell you that kicking heroine was a breeze compared to quitting smoking..My grandfather quit over 50 years ago and he was a two pack a day smoker, he still has cravings. He is hiding it from you and the rest of the family not so much because he feels guilty but because he knows that it upsets you and he feels out of control. Even though it seems like he is being the pot calling the kettle black by telling you not to eat so much chocolate, no matter how much you are hurting yourself you don't want to see other people hurting themselves. I smoke, but that doesn't mean I want to see my kids doing it or living on McDonald's their whole life so of course I am going to tell them they shouldn't...LOL...What will work is encouragement not being angry. When he sneaks off and has a cigarette, and then doesn't sneak off again for another couple of hours. Instead of yelling or arguing because he sneaked off again...try saying OMG Dad it was 3 hours before you had another cigarette! See if you can go a little longer this time. It will work much better than the other route...  |
Date: 2/5/2002 5:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 25828
he won't stop unless he wants to - my granddad had quadruple heart bypass surgery and STILL smokes....his surger was over 15 years ago, so i guess its not hurting him...but i hear the patches and stuff help..maybe if you all bought him some patches (nicotine patches or whatever they are)..that would give him the message and hit home enough forhim to want to quit. 8-)  |
Date: 2/5/2002 5:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 48577
Smokers are kinda like Alcoholics. They are not going to quit untill they are ready. You can not force it upon him. At least he is not doing it in front of you or around you. I don't smoke, but my step dad and grandmother used to smoke really bad when I was younger. But my grandmother had some heart problems and so the doctors told her it would be best if she quit. So it took a while, but she did. I don't remember the reason why my step dad quit, but I do know that my mother stood behind him the whole time and gave him all the support he needed. She wasn't yelling at him when he did slip, she'd just tell him to try harder next time. Maybe you could buy your dad some of those patches. My mother in law is on them, and so far they have been working with her. You just need to give him time, be patient with him and don't hound him. When he is ready he will. tigerlilly24  |
Date: 2/5/2002 7:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hiya Silver Wolf. I can't offer you much advice on how to get your dad to quite. One thing that I'd like to point out is: From what I've read, it looks as though your dad doesn't smoke around the rest of the family. Ya know, like in the house or in the car. Him trying to hide it from you all says, to me anyway, that he does care. I know many people that are not so considerate. Sure, it would be better if your father would stop. But I wouldn't let that, get in the way of loving him. See ya Wolfie.....Write on...  |
Date: 2/5/2002 8:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 49374
Don't be angry at your Dad, for everyone makes mistakes in their lives. However, let him know that you don't want him to do what he's doing. Be direct, but don't be too harsh on him. "Courteous complaining" is what I call it. I'll help in anyway that I can, so message me if you have a question. Good luck!  |
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Date: 2/5/2002 2:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
cool good job i_love_cats!! i hope my dad stops soon..thanks again for the info Asmith!! I might have another talk to my mum! |
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Date: 2/5/2002 2:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
aw Dawn thats sad..i hope your dad stops too!! its really horrible that your allergic to the smoke!:( Sweetsemtember..i know that mum should fight with him...i should get mum to read these comments, then we can figure out something! Az thanks for the advice..i like the last bit of your comment how i could tell dad wow its been like two or three hours...maybe he will eventually stop! |
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Date: 2/5/2002 2:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
Patches..humm thats an idea heather! thanks for replying with suggestions! and thank you too Tigerlily, it really helps! I'll ask mum about the patches, sounds like they do work!! Good! |
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Date: 2/5/2002 2:52:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
Kronk, yea i spose he is trying to hide it coz hes ashamed:( aaaw man. thanks for commenting!! Thanks also Author 49374 I think your comment is very helpful!! Thanks everyone:) *hugz* Luv, |
Date: 8/16/2002 4:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 16376
My dad smokes to, we have asked him countless times to stop but he won't do it. oh well I don't know what else to do about him. good luck with your dad though  |
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Date: 8/18/2002 10:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 13609
Yep so i know how you feel sis! |
