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Ways to tell you are obsessed with Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins From LotR) -Agent Q-

  Author:  25756  Category:(Discussion) Created:(3/22/2002 12:21:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (22573 times)

These are SO like me! Sorry it's kinda long but they are funny!

You get dressed up in heels a dress and make-up to look at websites.

You have a picture of Elijah in your wallet if anyone asks you say he is your boyfriend.

You haven't washed the shirt you wore when you met Elijah (u are SOO lucky if u have met him)

You have a homepage dedicated to Elijah.

You develop a sudden hate for any girl seen within 1 meter of Elijah.

You have multiple pictures of Elijah strategically placed around your room so no matter where you stand you can still see him.

Your teachers know you like Elijah thanks to your non stop yapping about them you even wanted to do a project on him because you swear that Elijah did contribute to world history.

You have a tape with every time you have seen elijah on tv and you have played it so much that you are surprised it hasn't burned up.

You take pictures of the tv screen when he is on (dont use the flash).

You have already decided to get an elvish nine tattoo where Elijah has his.

You have physically hurt someone who has said *gasp* that you have no chance of getting with Elijah (or laughed when he got zapped in the ice storm)

You considered not showering after you met Elijah but decided against it (for obvious reasons)

You still havnen't showered after meeting Elijah (ewwwwwwwwwwwww)

You have drawn Elijahs tattoo on yourself in pen.

You have weird dreams about Elijah.

You talk about Elijah as if u know him personally

Your locker/folder/diary is an Elijah shrine

Sometimes you scream out "ELIJAH WOOD" for no reason

You spend an insane amount of time on the internet looking up Elijah Wood

You have seen all of Elijah's movies at least 3 times or more even the ones when he was young.

You have said yes to more than 5 of these

You feel that you are some how cosmically connected to Elijah

You think movies like Flipper and Dayo are actually good!

You think about getting plastic surgery just in case you get the chance to meet him one day

You pay a stupid amount of money to get a really bad 'one ring' replica

Everyone must be silent when an ad for an upcoming Elijah movie is on TV. if they talk, you ignore them the rest of the night.

You write and tell him your life story. If you're REALLY obsessed you also tell him how much you love him, want to have his children and just KNOW he is your soul mate and you were born to marry him.

You replace almost every word to every song that you know with "Elijah." i.e. - singing in the shower to "RESPECT" "E-L-I-J-A-H Find out what he means to me Elijah, oh yeah! Elijah, uh-huh! ELIJAH!" Singing "Jingle Bells" at the top of your lungs on the bus ride home from school. "E-LIJ-AH! E-LIJ-AH! EEEELIJAH! EL-I-JAH, EL-I-JAH ELIJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Singing your own version of "Hey Jude" by the Beatles in the middle of your family Thanksgiving dinner. "Hey Elijah! You really rock! Oh Elijah ELIJAH!! Oh how, I love you Elijah Oh yes I love you ELIJAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!" Your family did not exactly appreciate that one.

You can say "I love Elijah Wood" in twenty-five different languages.

You make EVERYONE call you "Mrs. Wood"

You can often be found outside SCREECHING, "If you want him. Come and claim him!!!" at the trees. (poor trees, j/k)

You have contacted President Bush about the repulsiveness and injustice of even letting such a hideous creature as Josh Hartnett run against your Elijah Wood in the most beautiful man contest.

You've called every number in L.A. hoping that Elijah would ansewer. " ELIJAH, IS THAT YOU?!?!?! darn! Bye then!" (Your Dad still hasn't seen the phone bill yet, he he he)

Thanks to your continous blabbering EVERYONE at school knows EVERYTHING about Elijah, down to the size of his left baby toe. (2.4 cm by the way, quite big for a left baby toe, but you know what they say about having a big baby toe!) (absolutely nothing!) lol

Your English teacher asked you to write a poem for her class and it came out looking a bit like this: Elijah, Elijah, Elijah Elijah Jordan Wood Elijah Wood Elijah Wood oh Elijah Jordan Wood!

You attack and tie up the the poor little old office ladies at school, take over the intercom system, and announce that January twenty-first is now national "Elijah Wood Day", and that the school is now officially being made into an Elijah shrine.

You've spent the last three years digging and underground tunnel to Elijah's house in L.A.

You write poems dedicated to him.

You say "if i ruled the world, i'd be married to elijah wood!" (this spurs some neat comversation between me and my friends)

You have created your own "EJW day" for every month, on which you watch videos of Elijah all day and night, and think about him throuout.

You are known ans "The Elijah Wood freak" at school.

When all your friends are renting out films like "American Pie, or Hannibal" you are renting out Flipper and North.

You have seen Lord of the Rings 8 times, (thats 24 hours in the cinema)

After watching Lord of the rings, (through which you quoted every single line fluently) when Elijah's name appears on the screen, you jump up and scream and clap.

You have printed your own picture of Elijah onto a tshirt, and wear it everyday.

You are constantly on a diet, for the chance that you might one day "bump into Elijah"

You go to WhitePages.com and type in Elijah Wood until you find it(trust me it doesnt work...i've tried...lol)

You Made a movie of yourself telling how much you love Elijah, and sent it to him.

You Deleted all your E-mail addresses and created new ones that only had to do with Elijah in some way or another

your teachers made fun of your elijah obsession behind your back one day when you weren't in school, and luckily your friend let you know the next day

you bring framed pictures of him to sleepovers at friends houses because you can't bear not seeing him for so long

every few minutes you look at the clock, figure out the appropriate time difference between your location and elijah's, and wonder what he's doing at that very moment.

you actually want to go to sleep every night because in dreams, anything is possible

you actually sit down and try to think of more ways to tell if you're obsessed with elijah!

You don't even call him Elijah anymore, he is known to you (and your friends) as your husband.

You have fantasies of him asking you to be his date to (insert name of major awards show here).

You've already picked out your first born son's name: Elijah Jordan.... Jr. ;)

When driving in your car (by yourself) you imagine Elijah's in the car with you and have conversations with him.

When driving in your car (with friends) you insist that no one sits in the front seat ("that's Elijah's seat!") and proceed to talk to your imaginary 'Lijah.

You have attempted to contact Elijah more than 10 times.

You already have your and Elijah's honeymoon planned out.

You're planning to steal a car (if you don't have one) just so you can drive all the way to L.A to see Elijah.

You've planned all the possible ways you can stalk him and meet him without him knowing you're obsessed with everything about him.

every once in a while you fall into a dazed stupor dreaming about Elijah in which your friends call, " Elijahitis"

you know, just know, that when Elijah Wood meets you, he will be mad for you right then and there.

You've developped a sudden hate for MAndy Moore, Liv Taylor, and others.

You dress up extra special when you go out, just in case you happen to meet him, or even see him.

You make a special trip to the magasine store to see if there are any magasines with even a thubnail of Elijah

I someone even mentions the name Elijah, Elizah, Eli, Wood, or anything that begins with an E, you start drooling.

Dr. Pepper is your new favorite soda because you recently saw him drinking it.

You bought a life-size poster of him, hung it in your room, and told it all of your deepest secrets.

You made up the story line for a drama movie where you're kidnapped and he comes to save you.

You curse Josh Hartnett and throw things at the TV when he's on it.

Your name on your e-mail sends as "your name" Wood.

Any girl you see with him automatically becomes the most ugliest thing in the world.

Your collection on ELijah movies or DVD's have there very own protective case that sits in your room, by your bed.

All of your art projects lead in some way to Elijah, even if it is just a comet (Deep Impact)

You have Elijah's poster on the wall right next to your bed so he's the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning.

You have to carry a picture of Elijah with you just to get through the day.

Your walls are so covered in Elijah posters that you can't see the wallpaper.

You have to kiss ALL of your posters EVERY NIGHT before you go to bed.

The workers at the movie theaters know your name (not to mention every friend you've dragged to an Elijah movie) and your "usual" (Small Coke and nachos...no I don't want fries with that).

You accidentally turn in your "Elijah doodle page" instead of your homework, and your teacher tells you, "I'm sorry, but (your name here)+plus Elijah Jordan Wood=true love forever!!!!!!!!, is not the equation for the y-intercept.

You have bonded with the dorky salesman at Suncoast because you have a mutual love for everything Frodo.

You have only 3 words for Josh Hartnett: Search and Destroy.

You have actually layed the verbal smackdown on a 5-year old girl for crying/talking/kicking your seat/saying, "Daddy, I hafta go to the bathroom." /turning around and staring at you during any part of LOTR when there is Frodo-ness.

You honestly don't care if you're about to wet your pants during LOTR, you can hold it, it's ONLY 3 hours long.

You have just been given a baby kitten for (insert holiday here) and can't decide whether to name it Elijah, Frodo, North, Casey, Leo, Huck, Mikey, Mark, Willard, Mike, Nat, Day-O, Stu, Sandy, The Artful Dodger, Wren, or Video Game Boy (and you don't care that it's a girl, it's getting one of those names!)

You are truly obsessed if you are also harboring a secret (or very public) love for Orlando Bloom. No matter how much you wanna deny it, if you love Elijah, you automatically love Orlando (of course, who doesn't?). And if you love Orlando, you love Elijah, the two just kinda go together nowadays.

Your World Geography teacher *coughMrs.Corneliuscough* thought it was funny to show everyone your Elijah collage on the front page of your Geography notebook and then say, "Ya think she likes him?" HEY, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO REFLECT WHAT WE DO IN OUR FREE TIME (Well, I don't "do" him in my free time, lol, but it does pretty much revolve around him)!

You've learned to play the theme music to LOTR on your French Horn and insist on playing it for the class. You are quite proud of yourself.

Despite what a sweetheart Mandy Moore appears to be, you are now completely sure that she is the antichrist/devil incarnate.

You are about to kill that dumbbutt in your math class that won't quit with the, "Elijah's gay!" comments...your time is coming little boy, just you wait and see!

You named the biggest and prettiest star outside of your window "Elijah Jordan Wood".

You also started to talk to the "Elijah" star every night.

You print Elijah's picture or name on every single peice of your clohes(socks, underpants, bras, and even your prom dress!).

You named or renamed every pet both real and virtual to any names related to Elijah Jordan Wood (like Elwood, Liji, The monkey, e.t.c)

You sing: "Elijah, Elijah, Elijah Jordan Wood! Oh! How I love ya!" to the tune of "tomorrow" everytime you fall alseep!

You printed Elijah's picture on the face of your pillow or body pillow. So that you'll snuggle against your "Elijah pillow" and say "I love you" a zillion times every night. (no wonder youre so tired during the day!)

You tried out every match-o-meter on the internet and curse when you find out youre not a perfect match. (YOU STUPID, SPINELESS MATCH-0-METER!)

When you hug your friend or someone you secrently pretend that its actually Elijah that youre hugging!

You start claiming that youre part of EWAA (Elijah Wood Addicit Anynomous) organization.

You pass out every time you see a guy who looks like Elijah. (belive me! I nearly got a heart attack when I thought I saw Elijah drive by)

You have a uncanny ability to know what your friend would say everytime you start to talk about Elijah. (hmmm I wonder why?)

Your friend start to tease you by saying "Theres Elijah!" and giving you heart attack EVERY time

You actually started doing everything listed in "Ways to know if you're obsessed with Elijah Wood"

you have printed off every picture and interview you've ever seen on the internet and have stuck them in a scrapbook, which you carry everywhere

every time the door opens, you pray, and actually believe, that maybe it will be elijah coming to see you...

you hope that you'll meet him NEXT time you go out, after you get home

you have planned the outfit you are going to wear on your date to the two towers premiere

you debate which of his various nicknames is the most appealing, constantly

You have no friends who aren't obsessed, because you can't understand how any sane person could not adore him

You've read this far down the list.

Your cat, dog, younger sibling, or any other pet in your house is named after Elijah by you.

On his birthday (Jan. 28) you insisted on forcing all of your friends to wear party hats and sing happy birthday every chance you could get, while at school I may add!!

If you've ever sent audition tapes into his fan mail address, hoping that he will either fall madly in love with you on sight, or will hire you for his next movie, or hey both would be good too!

If you decided it would be a good idea to blow your college fund so that you could fly to the middle of nowhere in New Zealand to track the cast down.

You have a picture of him as your desktop, or your shrine to 'Lijh as your start up page.

If on your book covers, you have I love Elijah written in other languages. ( J'adore 'Lijh, if I may add!)

You have fights with your also Elijah fan-friends about the little,little picture of Elijah in the last magazine your friend bought.

You change the names´of your dog and call him Rascal or Levi now(as you know as an Elijah fan these are his dogs names).

You go to Mc Donalds and buy the Happy Meal just to get the plastic toy figure of Frodo

Your favorite chapter of the holy bible is the part of the prophet Elijah and now you think Elijah Wood is a prophet as well and was sent from heaven.

You have a constant smirk on your face that you constantly need to explain to your mom/dad.

The smirk is due to severe Elijah Wood Fantasizing Syndrome(EWFS).

You practice the "tortured" look that Elijah is famous for so you can do it properly at his family reunions. You realize that it's actually quite difficult for your eyebrows to achieve the perfect "tortured" look. You pluck your eyebrows to resemble Elijah's more.

You have maxed out bandwidth on your online photo album from posting too many Elijah photos (all in sizes blown up to show every little detail).

You have created various mathematical formulas proving that you and Elijah are destined to be together.

You enjoy doing probability problems involving things like the chances of getting a vowel if the letters of Elijah's name were put into a hat and drawn randomly, or the chances of your "bumping" into him.

You know that he likes wearing boxers over briefs and have managed to buy every single pair of boxers that you think would look cute on him.

You refuse to have any boyfriend because you need to be "available" when you you "bump" into Elijah.

Your friends ask you "So, are you still obsessed with him?" They don't even need to explain who "him" refers to.

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Show all stories by   Author:  25756 ( Click here )

Halloween is Right around the corner.. .

Date: 3/22/2002 12:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 16061    LOL So who is he anyway. LOL.  
Date: 3/22/2002 12:26:00 PM  From Authorid: 18527    LOL I bought the Frodo LOTR bookmark with One Ring replica so nyah! :P (they're selling them on Ebay chica... what are you waiting for??)  
Date: 3/22/2002 12:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25756    COOLIES Kethria! I gotta get one! lol  
Date: 3/22/2002 12:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 18527    yeah LOL they're neat!  
Date: 3/22/2002 12:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 33817    You can tell when you post something that long that is that pointless, all about him. Guess what hon?  
Date: 3/22/2002 12:49:00 PM  From Authorid: 51106    LOL that was funny. Thanks for sharing.
Date: 3/22/2002 12:58:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25756    lol you're welcome! Hey that's a good one Power One!  
Date: 3/22/2002 4:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 50864    LOL that was quite cute BTW I think I am on the verge of a Viggo Mortensen obsession LOL Hugs Mrs.Strider  
Date: 3/23/2002 10:12:00 AM  From Authorid: 51893    LOL, those are cute. I have the same birthday as him.
Date: 3/24/2002 12:25:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25756    Lol Mrs. Strider! Hey that's pretty cool LiL D! Thanks for replying everyone!  
Date: 11/9/2002 9:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 61910    OMG THOSE WERE SOO GREAT!!! i think i qualify!!!haha yeah i really enjoyed...worth the read...now i know for sure..ELIJAH WOOD IS SOOOO SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*~Eleyende  
Date: 11/9/2002 9:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 61910    OH ps...ORLANDO BLOOM IS SEXY TOO!!!*~Eleyende~*  
Date: 11/10/2002 2:38:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25756    Lol! Your totally right on that one!! lol  
Date: 11/21/2002 6:32:00 PM  From Authorid: 43340    i know someone who met elijah, and i am sooooo jealous!
Date: 11/23/2002 7:31:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25756    OMGosh really?? I would LOVE to meet him! Now I am jealous!! lol! ;o)  

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