I thought of it
As I touched the door
I snapped my hand back
As if shocked by an unseen force
Or burnt with the thought
I tried to read your face,
Curled up in bed watching the tragedy on tv
As our own unraveled
“didn’t dad tell you?”
I shook my head no,
When you told me
You delclared my worst fears, only realized minutes ago
I stopped,
Stopped seeing, breathing, felt like I was falling in a tunnel
Thoughts rushed by
How did I know?
A feeling
Almost like the house had an aura of your cries and pain
You began calling my name over and over
Sounding more desperate each time
Grasping to pull me from the whirlwind of thoughts that had taken me from reality
Calling me out of shock that had frozen my body
Eyes wide staring blindly
Face drawn pale and stiff
You reached for me and I began to hear your calls
Your fear drew me back to the world
I looked at you
And I cried
My worst fears coming true
You were dying
Something was inside eating at you
My mother
Inside were I came from
You carried me in joyful discomfort
I curled up with you every day
Loved you
Now some evil force was fading your life away
We cried together, the only time you let me see you cry through this
Your fear and mine
And I felt your fear for me
Rarely did I ask anything of you
You gave me so much
but that day
I asked you to fight back
“don’t let it take over you”
“Fight back”
“please don’t give up”
you promised you wouldn’t
you would fight it as hard as you could
because you still had your baby girl to take care of
I was your angel girl
You fought
And sometimes you gave up
And fought us
In the end
I told you it was ok, go
You said no
In your unconscious state, you were still there
Still watching out for us
You gave up and heard our cried
And fought to breathe again
You always put us first
I miss you guidance and undying love
I know now you watch over us
And I miss you
And will forever
And I will always love you
I promise to
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