Date: 4/2/2002 9:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 10915
Sweetie, no one can truly answer that question for you but you. If you feel that to meet your real dad would bring some closure to you life and fill that missing part of you, then I say go with it. I am sure that your step dad knows that you love him and he will still love you the same, but in order to have peace with self, do so. But make sure that if you do do this, that the feeling is mutual on the part of your biological father also cause I have heard of stories that touched me on that matter.  |
Date: 4/2/2002 9:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 28848
Do what your heart tells you to do...  |
Date: 4/2/2002 9:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 11528
Hi JAD, I went through this myself. Spent my whole life with an awful empty feeling. I never did find my biological parents. I tried and tried, finally in 1996 biological brothers found me. I suddenly had 4 new brothers and a sister. Granted the emotional connection will never be the same as if we had grown up together but it was still satisfying. Girlie is right, only You can decide if meeting You bio father is the thing to do. Its different with different people. I have met more than a few adopted people who never had the urge to track down thier bio parents. I know from my own experience that the desire to find my own real parents never went away so it was good to get it settled. Sadly I found siblings but my folks have passed on. One other thing is to keep in mind that it may be an unpleasant discovery when You meet the bio father, sometimes it is a pleasant reunion and other times a great disappointment. Be prepared and good luck to you in whatever You choose to do. Do not forget Your present Dad though, He loves You too and You are his girl to him. Bye for now. Enki  |
Date: 4/2/2002 9:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 11348
I just met my real dad for the first time since I was 2 last week. It was great. I've missed out on so much not knowing him... and I know exactly how you feel about having a missing part of you. I definitly think you shouldn't forget about him, because he gave you life. You can always be grateful to your step-dad but it's never wrong to want to know exactly who you came from. I think you should search... but you could always wait a while for that. Do what you feel comfortable with. It could turn out to be one of the best experiences of your life and if you don't do it you might regret it forever. I went 16 years without a dad. Good luck.  |
Date: 4/2/2002 10:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 35629
Well you can not help the way you feel.I can not begin to understand at all because i have not been through it.Although my good bud had and she was so happy when she found her father.Just knowing how he looked and acted and the otherside of the family and all the curious little things family have in common helped her to feel like she fit in the world better.She took after him so much it was strange.Anyway i wish you luck and that whatever you decide happens for you.  |
Date: 4/3/2002 7:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 52247
you're not the only one that hasnt seen your real father. i have never seen mine. he just got up and left one day. i have a wonderful step dad too, he is like a real father to me. but i always wonder where my real dad is too. sometimes i just want to give up. i have been searching for him for a long time now and i still havent found him. dont forget about your real dad, maybe you might run into him someday. amber22  |
Date: 4/3/2002 12:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 18104
I have not seen my father since I was 4 years old, (32 years). My mom also remarried a wonderful man who I refer to as "Dad". I too have always felt like there was a part of me that was missing, and I always wondered what it was about me that he did not like. I finally gave myself a break and came to believe that the reason my biological father simply disappeard was because of his unconditional love for me. I chose to believe that he somehow realized how hard it would be for me as a young child,to be battled over, and bounced around between homes. I chose to believe that he wanted me to have a more stable life in a home with both mother and father rather than a father who bounced from military base to military base. I chose to believe that he seen in my step-father the things he could never give me therefor he stepped aside and did what was in the best intrest of his little girl. Although my childhood years were not the best I know they could have been worse had my "Dad" not been there. For this I will always thank my biological father for. I searched for my Biological father for over 15 years and yes I did find him. There was no reunion and quite frankley he has made it quite clear that he does not want me in his life. I choose to believe that the reason for this is nothing more than self preservation. When and IF he ever chooses to reach out to me I have made it clear to him I would be willing to reach back. Only you can decide what is right for you. God Bless and good luck with which ever choice you make.  |
