i feel this twinge in my eyes. It's not a tear trying to pull through. I think it might be the trueth trying to force it's way in. I ffel like i've been fooling myself in everything i've applied myself too as of lateI look at my life not really happy with where i am and where it's leading me, but at the same tiem it's secure. I look at my job< i know and feel i am apretiated< but the insignifficants of it kills me> i look at my love life< and how sad the relationship i've put my faith in is, I mean i hadn't seen her in 7 years then all of a sudden i'm head over heals flying half way across the country to see her again. When I know the person she was is and will always be. I feel like my foundations are crumbling yet i have to keep my chin up for apearences. I wish I could step out of myself and just see the things that weigh so heavily on me from a diffrent prospective. So that i may be reassured or find out what i feel is true.
I have dreams I have too much faith in, realisticaly i know they will never happen and I face it but at teh same time i expect them to coem true. everything about me is like this. how can i continue like this? I need something god knows what.
and the fact that i find myself spilling these things on some message board is saddening also, i mean i can't think of a single person in my life i can talk to
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