Laurel sat out on the breaker contemplating her past. She remembered some things that she wished had been taken away with the things she couldn't remember, but because they hadn't been she would now take the time to try and put them into some kind of proper perspective.
As a photographer she felt that invisible wall from those memories blocking her creativity. Because of them her imagination was unable to blossom with ideas and that was more of a frustration for her than not being able to remember other things. She supposed that the thing that bothered her the most wasn't the memories so much as it was the partial memories. That's what made them worse. In her minds eye she believed that if she could remember it all that she would be able to formulate a kind of defense in order to keep from ever repeating it those actions again, but the full memories wouldn't come. Not even from those people who were a part of her life at that time. They refused to recall it because they felt very strong negative emotions from them and believed that if they chose not to recall them that the bad things that had been done would go away and they would never be faced with that kind of situation and those emotions again, so they refused to even discuss that time in their lifes.
Laurel couldn't even remember the day's events that stole those memories from her, but she knew what others had told her had happened and she remembered her final days in a hospital. She had been told she had been in a severe car accident on a country road. Her first concern was if anybody else had been hurt and she learned there had been. The driver of the other car had hit her head on the steering wheel of her car and knocked several of her teeth out and many of them up and into her nasal cavity. The young lady she had with her got her left leg broken requiring 2 metal pins in it. She had the misfortune of remaining conscious throughout the entire episode. Laurel had been knocked unconscious, in theory she believed that was caused by hitting her head on her steering wheel. She arrived at this theory because of the scars that were on her face. According to others she had been in a coma on life support in ICU of the hospital for approximately 2 weeks. Her legs, because of the kneecaps being shattered in both of them and 7 inches of her right femur being shattered as well, had been placed in perpetual motion machines in order to keep them from becoming stiff and locking up. Her left arm had been broken and it required a metal plate, that went along with the metal plate they had placed in her right knee. She also had 2 ribs in her upper left back broken and her spleen had been ruptured causing her to bleed out internally 7 & 1/2 pints of blood. On top of all of that she also suffered a severe brain injury, meaning that 3/4 of her brain had been bruised.
In her final month, out of the three, in the hospital she had to learn to walk, talk, eat, even go to the bathroom on a toilet again. Her short term memory was also a point of recovery she was required to work on. As for her long term memory...well, she was informed that would never be recovered, but she wouldn't accept that. Her short term memory became better than it ever had been because of her determination. She enrolled in college in photography and got through the majority of it before she was made to quit. She learned, by accident, she had made the honor roll shortly before she received instructions from the Social Security Department she had recovered from her wreck and she would have to get a job because she would no longer be receiving disability benefits. So she took that inspired step into the world and began her career as an illistrationist for novelists. Here she was though, and her mind was frozen, her confidence whaning, and talent molding.
She listened as the waves crashed against the breaker and the spray's sound as it returned through the air returning to its launching cradle.
"Excuse me." A young woman called to her. "Excuse me, do you think you might be able to give me some directional assistance?"
Isn't that ironic, she thought, asking the abnesiac for directions....."Maybe, it would really depend on what kind of directional help you wanted."
With a gentle laugh she said, "well, I really need 2 things," her arms folded in front of her and her head tilted to one side, "I need directions, that is if I'm even close, to the chapel that's located here on the beach..."
"That might be kind of difficult to point out....or describe how to get to," rising to get nearer to her, "so I might aughta show you the way, if you don't mind the company for the ride. What else was it that you needed?"
'You look trusting enough..........I think' she thought to herself, "That might be OK, if you can help me with the second part of what I need."
"And that would be?"
"I'm stuck."
Laurel couldn't help but laugh, "Ha ha ha ha ha.....ha ha, your not from around here, are you? Ha ha ha...."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Oh.....no, people from around here get stuck on the beach all the time, ha ha ha. I'll try to get you out, but I aint makin no promises." As she reached her on the beach. "Show me where your car is and I'll see what I can do for ya."
The young lady began walking in the direction of her car and Laurel followed her. As they walked Laurel engaged her in conversation. "Since I have consented to helping you, may I ask, what's your name?"
"Cheryl," the young lady replied.
"It's nice to meet you Cheryl, my name is Laurel....Laurel Mist."
Cheryl said, "hi, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate your helping me out here. I don't know anyone in this part of the country."
"Where are you from?"
"Oh, I'm one of those land-lubbers," she replied with a chuckle, "Oklahoma."
"Get outa town......really?!"
"Yeah, why, is that surprising?"
"Well, as a matter of fact it is cause I'm from Oklahoma too."
"Are you funnin with me? or are you for real?"
"No, really, I am. I'm from a place about 30 miles from Ada, Oklahoma."
"I'm from Ada. What are you close too?"
"Wewoka."
"Are you from Seminole or Holdenville?" Cheryl asked finding it hard to believe that she ran into somebody from so close to home so many miles away from it.
Now Laurel knew she wasn't just jacking with her, she really did know Oklahoma if she was that familiar with such small towns and their location, towns like Wewoka. "I'm from Holdenville.........this is way too weird meeting somebody from home here."
They reached Cheryl's car amd Laurel emmediately was relieved to see it wasn't stuck deap, as in up to it's axles, "This shouldn't be very hard to work out of it's hole." So she crawled in behind the wheel and started the engine and carefully began to work it forward and back.
Cheryl stood back and watched anxiously. She bowed her head and said a short prayer then raised her head knowing Laurel would get the job done (with some help from God).
Laurel began to make a little progress just as she began to think it was going to be a useless attempt. Forward, back, forward, then back, forward, back, forward, back, then forward again slowly getting a little farther with each try. Then she went back and the car rolled out of the ruts and began to move back. Laurel knew she mustn't slow down in the slightest or the car would get stuck once again so she continued until she was back onto a frequently travel path and knew she wouldn't get stuck if she stopped. "There ya go.!" she said once she had stopped and gotten out.
"Thank you so much, now, do you want to show me where the chapel is?" Cheryl said wondering how it was that she knew not being from there, and then realized that Laurel probably knew because she had been there herself to pray.
Laurel said, "sure, lets go." She only knew where it was because she had been there a few days before to take some photos of it for a book she had been illustrating. The author had suggested that she go to Florida, stay at her beach house, and get some photos of a quaint little chapel that was on the beach so Laurel took her up on it and drove out there.
She proceeded to give Cheryl directions and get lost in thought about the book and photos to take for it. Laurel thought of a chapel at the beach at sunset with one person silhouetted against the sunset semi sideways with their head lowered and in a walking stance headed for the chapel. Suddenly she sat bolt upright surprised that she was imagining the shot. Cheryl looked at her as they reached the chapel and asked her, "you OK?"
Laurel was speechless and could only look at her in response.
Cheryl said, "did you hear me? Are you OK?" She pulled up in the parking lot and placed the car in park and turned and gazed at her, concerned.
Laurel finally managed, "ye...yeah, I'm OK. It was just a thought I had, and I haven't been able to get my mind to think along those tracks in some time."
"What was the thought?"
Laurel explained the memory issue to her and then told her of the thought she had on their way to the chapel.
Cheryl then exclaimed "God works in marvelous ways, doesn't he." Spoken under her conclusion that Laurel was spiritually familiar with the chapel, then she asked, "Laurel, have you been here to talk to God very many times?"
Laurel had been caught off guard with that question, "to be honest, I haven't ever been here for that. I've only been here for the photo opportunity." Even though she wanted to lie to Cheryl she found herself unable to. It seemed truth was all she could speak in response to any of the questions Cheryl began to ask.
"Are you a Christian Laurel? Cheryl began.
"Ye...Yes, I am."
"What church do you go to?"
"Well, I'm actually a member of the First Babtist Church in my home town, but I haven't been in many years. You see, I haven't lived back home that long...Actually, I have lived there, it's just that I've been in rehabilitation because of the accident I was in. That was on January 2nd of 94.....what a way to start the New Year, huh?"
"It must have been terrible, I mean, everything you had to go through...the rehab and all. Think you could tell me why it is that you haven't been back since that's...uh...I'm guessing here, but was it physical therapy you had?, since that has been over?"
"You know, I can't tell you why that is. I just haven't been, I guess maybe because I'm embarrassed, I'm not sure."
"Do you live with your parents?"
"Yes, I moved out in 95, but then I moved back in in 99 to help my Mom take care of my Dad. He was suffering from ALS and she wasn't able to do it all by herself any longer. She had Americorp nurses that came in, along with the physical therapist, but when they weren't there it was all on her, so I moved in. In January of 2000 we admitted him to a nursing home that was next door to my youngest brother. He was there for 6 months before he got to move to the Veterans Center. Then I was driving Mom back and forth and that was rough on her too. I told her and Dad when I moved in that I was there for the long hall or until they kicked me out. Dad said he didn't forsee them kicking me out...they might just put me down in the barn if they got tired of me. Needless to say Mom hasn't goteen tired of me yet and Dad...well, Dad passed away in April of 2001. You'd think it would get easier after almost a year, but I'm here to tell you, it aint. Mom's health is gradually getting worse, but we're doing what we can to deal with that. I'm sorry, I just started rambling...what was it you wanted to know?"
"Don't worry yourself about it, you answered the question I asked. Now, would you care to go inside with me for a few minutes?"
Laurel looked out at the chapel and noticed the sun was just beginng to go down and she suddenly recalled what she imagined and asked her, "would you let me capture you in a photograph for this book I'm illistrating?"
"Oh, goodness, you don't want a picture of me."
"You'll be silhouetted against the sunset and nobody will be able to see your face, if that's what your worried about. I mean I could explain the whole concept behind it if you want me to, but..."
"No, that's OK," Cheryl thought, not wanting to miss this chance of leading this desperately seeking woman to a true path to follow" you can get a photo of me, just give me your artistic direction and I'll do my best to follow it.........then we can go in the chapel for a bit, and thank God for letting us use his house in your...what did you call it...a,...illistration."
"That's sounds fair, quid pro quo, you do for me and I'll do for you in return."
Laurel prepared her camera and directed Cheryl so that in her solemn walk to the chapel the photo would take place with the sun a short way above the horizon and having just broken through clouds whose borders where now glowing golden and the chapel appeared to have a glow of it's own and the ocean waves could be seen as they gracefully rolled onto the shore in the distance. The silhoutted figure casually walked head lowered at first then raised when directed and then stopping to take in the sight of the chapel which glowed before her and the fading sun just above the horizon behind her and it appeared to hang just below a palm tree's leaves. The shot taken Laurel walked up to the chapel and went inside with Cheryl.
"This is such a beautiful chapel being as tiny as it is. I suppose it's just for those who feel the need to have a building of God before they can actually speek with him. Is that what you believe Laurel?"
"Nope, I believe you should be able to speek with God from anywhere you are."
"That's true, but do you believe that you are too strong or smarter than he is so you don't have to meet him on his own ground?"
"Whoa....where's that coming from? I never said nor did I emply such a thing! I told you, I guess it was, I was embarrassed because I hadn't been to church in so long and now your starting to pull this holy roller guilt number on me........I aint hangin around for this stuff. I hope you find your way back alright and my advice, stay off the beach while your in a car. See ya." Laurel turns and starts toward the door when Cheryl says, "wait,.........I'm sorry, you're right and I had no business coming down on you like that, especially after all the help you've given me. Please.........don't leave yet."
"Why should I stay? I'm not here to feel guilty or be made to feel that way. I'm here because I was presented an opportunity to help somebody and those don't come along very often for me, so I took it. I gave the help I was asked for and more information than you probably wanted to hear, got a photo that sparked my long dorment imagination and your religious opinion, for which I never asked, so I believe I'm going to depart sufficiently done. Good luck and goodbye."
"No, wait!" 'In a wisper she says 'God please help me here' "please, don't leave yet, can't we just sit and talk for a moment....please?"
Laurel hears these 2 voices in her mind, one that says you don't really need this headache, you've helped her get unstuck and delivered her to this shack now why don' you just go back to the beach house. The other voice, not as loud or animant says yeah, stay. what's it gonna hurt you to sit down here in this building where you can feel the presence of God and listen to what Cheryl has to say......the choice, of course, is yours, but I think you could do worse than staying and listening. You've made a promise to yourself that you would learn to react differently than other people do to many things and here is your chance to prove it, so stay...what will it hurt to listen and maybe share your feelings?
Laurel says,"No lectures?"
"No, no lectures, we'll just talk."
"Very well, I'll stay for a short time, or until I feel the talk going bad. OK?"
"OK."
So the 2 sat down on a pew and began to talk about each others lifes. They spoke mostly about Cheryl's life since Laurel had already pretty much poored her life story out previously, but she sat transfixed and listened intently.
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