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PLEASE FORGIVE ME! , WOODEN NICKEL

  Author:  27583  Category:(Humor) Created:(4/10/2002 5:31:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (270 times)

PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. My heart is terribly broken. Won't you please forgive me? Your absence is breaking my heart, and I admit, I was a fool. There is nobody that can take your place. I love only you.

All my love,

Belinda. xoxoxoxo

PS. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

=============================================

The Monk





A man is driving down the road when his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car has broken down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are [censored by the monks] blades of grass and [censored by the monks] sand pebbles on the earth."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door."



The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"







The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.







The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.







He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst...







Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.....



* SCROLL DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

******************************************************

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(Sorry... We can't tell YOU what it is, because YOU'RE not a monk!)



GOTCHA! Ha Ha Ha

==================================================

TWO SETS OF TONSILS

A man approached his family physician, and said, "Doc, I'm afraid you'll have to remove my wife's tonsils one of these days."

The doctor pulled out the family's medical file, and exclaimed, "Why, I removed them six years ago! Did you ever hear of a woman having two sets of tonsils?"

"No," the husband retorted, "but you've heard of a man GETTING MARRIED AGAIN, haven't you?"

==================================================

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Replies:      
Date: 4/10/2002 5:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    lol...those are funny ....  
Date: 4/10/2002 5:45:00 PM  From Authorid: 46068    lol, these were great thanks for sharing... Take care,  
Date: 4/10/2002 6:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 13199    lmao!! oh wooden sweetie still funny as ever! keep 'em coming..~~love~~Abyss~~ ps...I missed ya*hugs*  
Date: 4/10/2002 6:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 14018    You are One BIG meanie!!!! Telll me Tell me Tell me!!!! Meanie... Good work Woddy...  
Date: 4/10/2002 8:31:00 PM  From Authorid: 13546    LOL! I am so a monk.. now you have to tell me! *hehe* lol.. and the first one.. of course lost loved ones would come back after the lottery.. LOL!!!! *shakes head* LOL!!! Thanks for sharing these daddy! LOVE YA!! *HUGS*  
Date: 4/11/2002 8:28:00 AM  From Authorid: 26227    these are pretty funny wooden nickle I really like the monk joke!! Keep the jokes comming.  
Date: 4/11/2002 12:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 49074    Thank you for sharing. I really liked the please forgive me one.  
Date: 7/24/2002 11:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    LOL oh god hehe that first one lol  

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