Subject: Layoffs i n America!
Regarding job layoffs in the U.S. Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SING APORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in .....AMERICA..... Keep this circulating.....
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Little Guy, Small Car, Big Mouth
The following are real statements found on insurance claim forms. Drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident succinctly.
Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
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A Day Out On The Town
Three 7 year old girls were walking down the street wearing their mothers' clothing; large hats, high heels, and long dresses. They passed a bar and one of the girls said, "let's go in for a drink. " They went in and crawled up onto the bar stools.
The bartender laughed and thought he would have some fun. He went to the first little girl and said, "What will you have young lady?"
The girl replied, "I'll Have a Martini."
The bartender could not give them any liquor so he filled up a martini glass with 7-UP, placed an olive in it and put it in front of her.
He said to the second girl, "What will you have today?" She replied, "A Manhattan."
The bartender then filled a Manhattan glass with Ginger- Ale, put in a cherry in it, and set it in front of her.
Next he asked the third little girl, "What will you have today?"
After a long pause she replied, "I'll have a BEER. Mother says they're so refreshing."
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A Funny Little Girl
My husband and I had our granddaughter one evening and the 3 of us were excited because she was staying the night and going to church with us in the morning. Katlyn is a bright 4 year old who thinks grandpap can make ice cream appear just for her and they are both very much alike which upsets the mother and myself at times.
The 3 of us get up Sunday morning and the routine from my husband is yelling from another room starting from, Hey hon, have you seen my good shirt. hey dear have you seen my good shoes, have you seen my belt....(get the picture) our granddaughter is in another room yelling...gram I can't find my shoes, hey grandma my jacket isn't in my room, grandma where are my socks.
So I yell, WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE, I WILL GET THE CAR AND YOU TWO LOST CHILDREN MEET ME IN THE DRIVEWAY... We make it thru church services and are being greeted at the door of the church by the Reverened & his wife as we leave.
My husband has Katlyn by the hand and I am behind them as the Reverened turns to pull the back of his wifes dress down and he said nicely, Oh dear your dress was stuck there, and so my dear little Katlyn said 'Oh don't worry Reverened my grandpap said grandma has a bug stuck there........
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