. An old man was in his golden years, but that didn't stop him from trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar, approached a very pretty and very young woman and said, "Where have you been all my life?"
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born yet."
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"I've had it with my wife." said the one drinking buddy to the other. "I'm filing for an divorce."
"Sorry to hear that pal." said his partner. "May I ask why?"
"I found her supply of birth control pills." said the first.
"Listen Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can't see leaving your wife for what the Church says is a sin."
"It ain't just that." stormed Frank. "I had a vasectomy over five years ago".
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. A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist.
She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch, and we'll get started.
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