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what do I say to my ex facing 70 years

  Author:  19345  Category:(General Advice) Created:(6/16/2002 7:15:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (309 times)

okay two weeks ago my ex drove drunk and killed someone and is now facing 70 years in prison. We stayed close and needless to say I feel horrible for all involved. I left him because of his drinking. There is a real good person under all the drinking, I'm not making excuses for him but I don't know what to sa to him in letters, I can't say hows it going so what so I say. I am at a loss for words..........

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Replies:      
Date: 6/16/2002 7:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 34487    Just try to remain positive and keep him positive. He's learning a hard lesson. It's so sad when people have this addiction and it takes the live of others. Just be your kind self, that's all you can do. ;o)  
Date: 6/16/2002 7:27:00 PM  From Authorid: 45906    what is there to say? i dont think much of people who drink and drive and then well the un thinkable ide say i still love you or at least care about you and ummm be carefull and keep your soap to your self <para  
Date: 6/16/2002 7:37:00 PM  From Authorid: 19173    I don't know what you can say, other than telling him you will be praying for him. Let us know the outcome when the trial is over...Lisa  
Date: 6/16/2002 7:37:00 PM  From Authorid: 23610    I understand your pain, sluggo. Maybe you could try writing some of your positive memories of what a good person he is and some of the happy memories you have of things that you did together. Yes, what he did was horrible; however, he is still a person and still deserves and needs love. I know it is a very hard situation for you to deal with and I can understand how you must feel that so much is out of your contol...but you can still give loving support to the man that you know has both positive and negative in him....just as we all do. *Hugs*  
Date: 6/16/2002 7:39:00 PM  From Authorid: 7830    all i can say is you live by the sword you die by the sword. i understand you're feelings on this and I really dont know what I would say either.  
Date: 6/16/2002 7:52:00 PM  From Authorid: 34487    LadyNyx... that was some great advice to the Author. ;)  
Date: 6/16/2002 7:54:00 PM  From Authorid: 45630    I think if he goes to prison he will be forced to sober up and then he will realise what he has done wrong. If he behaves himself he'll get out much earlier but I think he will be very sorry for what he has done because he will have a lot of time to think about it.  
Date: 6/16/2002 8:08:00 PM  From Authorid: 40979    hmmm If I were you I would tell him how you really feel about all this. Hope he sees what he did...to bad it happened that way.  
Date: 6/17/2002 2:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 47699    I don't mean to sound insensitive at all but I suppose the most realistic and appropriate thing to say at this point would be 'goodbye.'  
Date: 6/17/2002 10:37:00 AM  From Authorid: 55083    Well you have alot more to tell than he does he locked up with nothing to do but write and think ,why don't you tell him about things that are happening in your life ask him for advise, tell him how you feel let him know that even though he doesn't see everyone that he cares about doesn't mean he's not being missed or thought abought.
Date: 6/17/2002 11:05:00 AM  From Authorid: 54830    just say goodbye, its the only thing you can really do.. he killed someone, dont you think that he deserves to be there for what he did?  
Date: 6/17/2002 11:27:00 AM  From Authorid: 53284    The only thing left to say is goodbye. Most likely you won't be seeing much of him for a long time. You can correspond with him if you want, but I would keep it supperficial. Good luck
WB-
  
Date: 6/17/2002 5:14:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 19345    As the author I do want to point out that its not that I don't think my ex should answer for what he did, I just am saying that you can't just throw someone away you love when they do something real bad, especially when their are kids. I just didn'tknow how to deal with this and asked for advice not crititism.I now know how the families of criminals feel, its a terrible place to be in, quite torn  

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