On the 6th April, the year 0000 (beginning of time as we know it,) there was a rather large gas explosion... all the matter that will ever exist exploded from a little green salt pot. Yellow monkeys in jars and elephants in briefcases roamed the universe at great speed, flying past various molten rock lumps and silly jellies with pink frogs on them. Purple goblins evolved into purple goblins with horns, while they were travelling at a fast rate. One purple goblin in particular had decided he would sum up the situation and do what he thought was best. - This was to pull out a plastic umbrella from his little duffel bag and float safely onto a newly formed star. It suddenly expanded into a large ball of fire and rapidly grew and grew until it was as big as our sun. (it IS our sun.) As this began to happen, a small rock called Eartheius Rubellius had sidled past the Goblin's head. He whipped around to see Eartheius whizz by, and stop in mid air at a rather large distance from the ball of gas (our sun). In the distance. He heard Eartheius shouting abuse at him. The purple goblin (called Sir Pooy Wooy) had decided he would shout some back. This resulted in a fight and Eartheius ate Pooy Wooy.he grew and grew until he was enormus. (not nearly as big as the sun though - that would just be plain silliness.) Anyway, moving on... There were various other pieces of rock floating by and growing, until there were so many that they started to move in circles around the sun. This was because they were trying to run away from a tiny, ugly man named Osama Bin Laden. (Recently mentioned in a book named 'Adventures of Osma Bin Laden'> Well anyway, Osama had summed up the sitation and thought how best to react to the various events in question. He decided the only thing for it was to locate a rather fat cat named Poppy, and a rather stupid dog named Mansel, and ask them politely if they would stop time. They did no such thing and ended up making time go faster.. this is why we now find ourselves in the year 2002...- as you may have already found out, you and everyone around you on the planet Earth (originally Eartheius Rubellius) are being controlled by a computer in a place called Oz, the absence of the brain in the human head is to reveal that in truth, there are really two computerised munchkins jumping up and down either side of a see-saw inside your head to generate what they call 'brain waves.' These munchkins are controlled by a rather dumb dog named Mansel (mentioned earlier on in the story). Thankyou for your time.
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