Best friend
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch whiskey. The bartender pours him the drink and says, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?"
After downing his drink, the guy says, "I got home and found my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Wow" says the bartender, pouring the man a second triple scotch. "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house."
As the man downs his second triple scotch, the bartender asks him, "What did you do?"
The guy says, "I walked over to my wife, looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to get the hell out."
The bartender says, "That makes sense -- but what about your best friend?"
The guy says, "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said ... 'BAD DOG!'"
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Lawyer
Two guys are sitting in a bar.
The first guy asks, "What do you do for a living?"
The second guy says, "I'm a lawyer."
The first says, "How much do you charge?"
The second guy says, "$100 for four questions."
The first guy says, "Isn't that a little expensive?"
...The second guy says, "Yes. What's your fourth question?"...
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Polish Joke
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Polish joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I am Polish. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's Polish. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's Polish. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
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