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Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies -Stile-

  Author:  16061  Category:(Humor) Created:(8/1/2002 11:53:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (488 times)

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

Free-lance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage, despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son's eighth birthday.

Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in nuclear fission at age 23.

The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

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Spring is coming
Replies:      
Date: 8/1/2002 11:58:00 PM  From Authorid: 24003    An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child...ROLFMAO!!! I almost woke my son up I was laughing at these so hard!
  
Date: 8/2/2002 12:02:00 AM  From Authorid: 9130    those are great-- I bookmarked this...  
Date: 8/2/2002 12:24:00 AM  From Authorid: 20750    lmao! to kewl!  
Date: 8/2/2002 1:59:00 AM  From Authorid: 42423    Nice one Stile, some good observations there   
Date: 8/2/2002 4:35:00 AM  From Authorid: 47699    LOL! I think you've seen a few too many movies. (By the way, everything in movies is true.)  
Date: 8/2/2002 4:53:00 AM  From Authorid: 44321    LOL I was having a laughing fit at the electric fence part hese were good.  
Date: 8/2/2002 5:09:00 AM  From Authorid: 28946    These are hilarious! You know, I bet some foreign countries might believe this stuff about America. If a child can withstand an eletric fence, we must be a super power! LMBO!  
Date: 8/2/2002 5:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 30229    These are great!!! I am bookmarking too..  
Date: 8/2/2002 6:02:00 AM  From Authorid: 17417    ROTFLMBO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Date: 8/2/2002 6:19:00 AM  From Authorid: 46527    LOL, so very true!  
Date: 8/2/2002 7:57:00 AM  From Authorid: 60299    those were really funny! thanks for sharing. - exasperated
Date: 8/2/2002 9:19:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 16061    Thank you all I thought there were worth sharing.  
Date: 8/2/2002 12:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 60691    thats a good post thats funny the last one b/c thats the way my cuz and her bf is they fight then makeup lol *jayshell*
Date: 8/2/2002 1:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 60717    these r great, u make me laugh!!!!!!

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