I Forgot How To Smile

I forgot how to smile that special certain type of way.
Gleaming and shimmering just like a fountain of
golden water.
You ask how you could forget such a thing? But I tell you
it just as easy as forgetting your name.
I wish I could bring the thoughts that gave me a twinkling
smile back from their shallow grave.
They have been buried underneath sorrow and topped
off with decaying soil from a coffin full of my doubts.
I shut my eyes yet the smile would not come. Instead of
a grin I let out an evil sneer. All so fake but you dont notice it
either way.
I look so pretty even with that sell-out of a smile but think
of what a beautiful bird I would be with a smile that could
fit my mentality. Oh of course I forgot my mentality and
personality isnt what it use to be-thats what brought on
this whole discourse in the first place.
I feel like a thousand year old grain of sand. I've been
all over the world but I just cant find a desert to which
I belong.

>*< SpArKLeFaiRy >*<