"What really happenned*****Annabella

"I can be your hero, babe" Enrique Iglesias sings....and I can't identify what I feel.....

It's so weird, different, cold this time.....I feel surrounded by icebergs....I see the mountains admiring their unfitted shapes into the lake......the lake.......so quite, so mysterious, the lake...so empty of emotions....reflextions are it's only demonds.....

I wish I could tell you, I wish you would listen, I wish I could explain, I wish I would have the opportunity like a death-sentence prisoner before execution...

I wish I could erase the pain, the anger, the hurt, the wrong doing, the fears....Those fears.......ummmmmmm .....those fears didn't allow me to get on board.....and travel the challenging voyage, as much as I wanted, under those difficult terms..

Of all the feelings I don't know which one hurts the most....certainly your "anger" hurts me more...... but it hurts me deeply, because it hurts "You"......

I pray to God that you don't have any "resentment" for me, I pray to God that you have good sweet memories of me, I pray to God that you can always remember me as a "pure manifestation of true-imperfect love"

The knife of your indifference tears the fibers of my wound...I understand now, I finally understood...I'm so sorry for not giving more...I'm so sorry for not been stronger, I'm so sorry for been weak......I'm sorry for choosing....choosing is "loosing".....is always like that...choosing is giving up something...no one can have it all...it's part of life....

I understand I have no right to invade your space any more, your privacy, your world, I now understand you have burried me...I understand I have to accept that now and let you be....I have to let you be...I understand I have to respect your decision, I have to respect your feelings, I truly do.

I apologize for the telephone calls, I feel bad for that, I truly do. I'm not a selfish person, eventhough you might think I am, that is why I came to the realization that you are right, and it's best to let it be, it's best for you to brake the chains like you've done, unfortunately, I would never be able to make you happy because I' can't become the person you need me to be, maybe I projected someone different, and not, who I really am.

Don't ever doubt my love for you and or my honesty and please don't take me as a lyer, eventhough you could take it that way, I'm a person of my "word", however, I'm "Human" and "Humans Do Make Mistakes". I would never do anything wrong intentionally. Please understand I didn't want to loose you, and I knew I would if I chose anything different, you've made that very clear, you have given me an "ultimatum", I was under a lot of pressure from everyone, including "you", I had so much pressure on my shoulders that I couldn't bear it, I was fighting between everyone's emotions including mine, and I wanted to forget what I considered to be logical. I had unresolved issues whith a "family" member and you knew it, and you've told me that you wanted everyone "happy" there, you've told me you needed everyone to be ok in order to make it work. Let me tell you, things were not ok, and that night things gotten worse...that's when I understood even more that we "needed" to wait.... Sometimes, people take decisions an the impulse of a moment and dessperation letting behind realities that must be considered. I wanted to be with you, always, I never wanted to loose what we had and/or the possibility of a "family", that's why eventhough I didn't think the terms were favorable, I made that "mistake", however, I knew and felt that we needed to do it "right" for everyone, even for "you". I knew you would not accept any other conditions, we've discussed it before many times, you've told me what your conditions were, and I believe some of those "conditions" were not favorable to suceed. When I looked inside me, I still felt we were not doing things right, eventhough we both wanted it to work and we had the best of intentions to make it work, I still felt the chances of success would be minimal under those terms, that's when I had to confront the situation the way I did. I know I handled things wrong,and I apologized then, and I apologize now again. I know apologies are not good enough sometimes, but I though you would in time forgive me and perhaps understand I was doing that for all of us, I thought you would give me a chance to talk to you, I didn't think you would be so hard and you would close the door of your heart in that way, drastically, I thought we could still work things through some how, after all we been through together, you must realize we are wasting -true love because we can't come to a reasonable agreement. You need to understand it was a million times harder to do what I did, than it would of been to move forward, think about it when you have some time.... I know I disappointed you completely and that kills me, you may not see, neither understand it now, perhaps one day you will realize that I did it to have a "real" opportunity of happiness. I thought, perhaps you would be more flexible and wait a bit and try to work it out the way I have suggested before, I've never wanted to end what we had, neither wanted you to "leave" me like that, but I understand your reasons, I know you are angry and hurt, and I understand that. I guess I still believed that "love" could keep us together no matter what, until we found a solution that would make us all comfortable. Please understand, I didn't want us to FAIL, AGAIN. Just remember that for the first time, I put RACIONALITY before LOVE, and I did it for the sake of LOVE, (believe or not) and by doing so, I forever "lost" you, I just wanted to start and do things right the SECOND TIME around.

I have nothing but sweet sweet memories of your love and even in my dreams you are smiling, loving and caring. You'll always be for me, a "love rose" without thorns.

I just pray to God that you keep me in a special corner of your heart, please "remember me as a pure manifestation of Imperfect, deep True love"

I hold you in my heart with a smile, with a hug, with a sweet kiss, I keep the fragrance of your hugs, I keep you in my memories as my "beautiful True imperfect Love"

Please don't feel resentment for me, please don't, please let your feelings free to be..., please have good memories of me..

Please be free.......

Will always love you!!!

I wish for you much happiness!!!

P.S. Top Gun is on......remember ????? "Take my breath away....

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