I was eating a tofu burger at Mcdonalds the other day (not the franchise but Breeze Mcdonald's house, she's a leader of a hippy commune) when I started choking. Breeze performed the heimlich manouvere and I still wouldn't stop. She poured crystal clear water down from throat and all I did was go blue in the face. I started to convulse. She called the local doctor and when he saw me he quickly called Pizza Hut and said "I need 3 supreme pizzas, two garlic bread and a 1.25L bottle of platypus shake, stat. We have a hippy related accident". Pizza Hut came just in time as I started to go to that great platypus shake bar in the sky. They proceeded to give me everything through an I.V. drip. Almost instantaneosly colour came back to my cheeks. The doctor just looked at Breeze and said "You young kids and your hippy food, will you never learn". What's the moral of this story? Don't eat tofu. The only real meal is meat and more meat. Also never eat anything by a girl named breeze. They're always bad news.
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