The Girl Who Cut Herself And No One cared.. Series Two Amanda's Story ~Spiritsof the Dead~

less then a year ago, my friend killed herself, she couldnt deal with things. since then i havent been able to deal myself. it hurts enough to want to take the road that she did. i felt like i could, i was afraid that it might hurt. i didnt want to hurt anyone but someone, well..everyone was hurting me, and didnt care.

Part 1

as the day wore on, i felt that pressure in my heart begin to get bigger. it felt like it hurt, but i wasnt sure the feeling. i wanted to ask someone for help, but i didnt think anyone could come and help me. i was sitting in my room looking at my friend that was dead. it felt like she gave me her pain, so that i would join her. i guess so we could be whole, and run in the flowers like we used to. maybe i should kill myself to get it over with.

as i was sitting there, the thoughts of "pick up the knife, it will end your pain." ran through my mind like nothing before. i wanted to pick it up, just so the thoughts would die. i didnt know if i was going to be doing the right thing, or if i was going to be making a bad mistake. i didnt want to hurt anyone, but i didnt want to be hurt either.

at dinner time i saw both my parents pain, i even felt it. though they were laughing, it was still there. i didnt want to say anything, but i didnt want to feel it either. was this just my pain, or was it their's? i was so confused. i said "mom, dad I'm not feeling well. I'm going to bed." Mom said "alright honey, goodnight." i got up, and walked to my bedroom.

i grabbed my knife, and sat down. what to do, what to do?

Spiritsof the Dead

Part 2 coming soon

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