So you've made your choice,
I'm sitting here confused,
still trying to make sense of it all,
but I'm not stopping you.
I know that you don't care as much,
you never have and never will,
it's something you're not capable of.
But just tell me that I would be worth it,
and that it would be me in your heart,
if you weren't so lazy and worthless.
I've been wanting to hear those words for a while now,
and I've been wanting to say what's on my mind,
but I just can't find the time to speak.
I'm too busy digging away in the backyard,
trying to destroy any evidence of emotion for you.
I will bury my heart deep within the dirt,
and when it rains I will sit in the kitchen,
staring out the window,
hoping that the water won't make my heart grow even more.
I try to find myself during the night,
searching my house for some sort of clue.
And while every one is sound asleep and dreaming away,
I am wandering the lonely streets,
hoping to find some one else's buried heart
that I can care for and never let go.
Some one needs that kind of treatment,
the kind that you will never be able to give.
I'll take your weakness,
and turn it into my own strength.
You won't find me making the same mistakes.
And when night is finally over,
and the stars have all gone to sleep,
I would watch the sunrise from the roof of my house,
holding some one else's heart in my hand,
knowing that I am not alone.
I'd feel the warmth of the sun upon me,
and I'd be filled with a kind of warmth that you never provided.
And at the end of each day,
when the sun would be buried back into the earth,
I'd smile and never think of you again.
The day when I can happily watch the sunset at night,
is the day that I've finally healed from your wounds.
--iCyFiRe
**10/19/02
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