Date: 11/2/2002 11:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 35160
i agree with u there. anything i ever wanted in life i had to work for, it wasnt given to me. 8^) huggs shay  |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:03:00 PM ( Admin-MG )
A great post M.Man! What great advice!  |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 30229
Well I AM a parent, and you have some good ideas here, but it is a little exaggerated. I dont think that spoiled children will go off and drink, and I think some kids DO learn from their parents, however overprotective their parents are. I am the Mother of 3 kids, all grown. I spoiled all of them and I expected them to do as well in school as they possibly could, and for all of them it WAS straight A's that they could do, so less than that wasnt good enough and they knew it. My kids are all grown, all successful and I only had problems from my middle one about drinking and smoking pot, which she quit 10 years ago when she realized how overrated that scene was. I think kids learn what they need to learn from their parents, and when they achieve the age of 18 and go to college and immediatedly go wild, drinking and partying then it is THEIR fault, not their parents fault. After all, their parents did raise them right, it was THEM who went off the beaten path, right? KIDS are accountable for their own actions at that age, so what they do cannot be blamed on overprotective and strict parents... dont you think?  |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 52866
As a kid, I agree!!!  |
|
Date: 11/2/2002 11:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 30229
I am sorry, I forgot to put that you are sooo right about letting kids work and buy what they want instead of always going to parents for it.. Great advice... it really makes ones maturity level go up to be able to hold down a job.. |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
I sorta agree with the first statement...my best friend was validictorian strict parents and she goes off to hawaii for college....starts the drinking I don't know about the drugs I do know she's been maced by police though now..LOL...I however don't necessarily agree with your other statement...I have been spolied I admit it...but given my situation....it's understood why....ask any parent...if they are told their child probably won't come home after birth...and if they do they won't survive past three....if by some reaons they do their going to be blind....chances by age 18 they'd develope ms...would you not spoil them a bit?....I have daddy wrapped around my finger....have I ever done drugs? no....never even touched a cigarett...have I EVER had my freedoms taken away? no I've NEVER even been grounded....and I've never complained about how I 'hate' my parents....I may not agree with them all the time but truth be known their some of my best friends....  |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
it's the give a little get a little sindrome.. the older they get the more independant you have to let them be or else they lash out and be a wild child or they just take it and have no idea what to do when they are out on thier own  |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49498
Thanks everyone. I know what you mean Gail. And Becky, I see what you mean also. Everyone turns out different, but a majority that I have personally seen are messed up from it.  |
Date: 11/2/2002 11:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
as a parent hun, I feel that all I could do was give them plenty of love, encouragement with schooling and sport activities, a warm clean bed, plenty of good food and a nice roof over their heads, now I reckon I could only teach them right from wrong and the rest is up to them, one of mine went off the rails a bit but soon realized that the all the drinking and drugs wasnt what it was wrapped up to be and settled down into a responsible person...not all parents can be held responsible for the childrens behaviour...cheers Zema  |
|
Date: 11/2/2002 11:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49498
Exactly Zeplin, just give them the basics. If theyre smart, theyll stay on track. Thats also why I think you should make them work for what they have, to teach them respect for property and values, so they dont go off destroying others or their own. |
Date: 11/3/2002 12:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 47699
M.Man, I'm impressed for your words are wise far beyond your years. It would do a lot of parents much good to heed what you've said here.  |
Date: 11/3/2002 7:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
M.Man..while your post has some great opinions there..I have to disagree on SOME things..You are right to a certain extent that sometimes if we smother our children, they WILL eventually rebel..I did it..But I also think that kids NEED bounderies..Kids NEED dicipline..Kids NEED to start taking responsibility for their OWN actions..While sometimes parents can be a bit too overprotective, when a child reaches a certain age, they KNOW the difference between right ant wrong, and they know that the decisions they make could affect the rest of their lives..I prefer to have my children be the best they can be..and that means working hard in school..School is the foundation for their whole future..If they have the ability to make straight A's you bet your bottom dollar I wont except anything less from them..I want my children to be strong, productive members of society when they reach adulthood..Its MY job as a parent to see that they accomplish all their goals in life..There are certain things I will NOT tolerate from my kids..Talking back and talking crap are two of them..I cannot stand when a kid starts mouthing back at me..grrr..LOL...I teach my kids RESPECT for themselves and for others..I teach my kids that life is not always going to be fair..sometimes things happen that are totally unfair, but that is how life is in the REAL world..they are better off being prepared NOW rather than later for some of the harshness the REAL world has to offer..If they know NOW..they can deal better later..IMO  |
|
Date: 11/3/2002 9:34:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49498
Thanks Frank, and LL, I agree with some things said above. I have seen children with overprotective parents turn into rebellious, unappreciative people. But like I said, everyone turns out different |
Date: 11/3/2002 11:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 49742
I agree that everyone is different. I have seen kids come from excellent loving backgrounds turn out either way. I have seen kids come from unloving horrible backgrounds and turn out either way. I came from an unloving abusive background and grew up to be the oposite knowing how I felt I didn't want my kids to have to go through the same. I don't use drugs and don't really care to drink. Yet my sister who was never spanked and allowed to run free, grew up using drugs and alcohol, prostituted and used the needle. Our lives turned out totally different. I'm the oldest of 7. My siblings want the life I have now. They could have if they had not thrown it away doing drugs and spending time in jail, etc. They mocked me for being different and not doing the same things they do and now they regret not living the way I do. Funny thing is I was jokingly called the black sheep in the family cause I was straight and smart enough to know where that life style would lead. In functional families the black sheep is usually the one that is rebelling and doing the opposite of the family members that are going in the right direction. Sorry to say even though I come from a large family, we don't see much of each other because of the opposite lifestyles. I didn't want my children growing up around my parents abusive ways and the lifestyles I mentioned. So I didn't. My parents also used drugs and did it with my syblings. They would mock and laugh at me cause I couldn't stand to be around it. So when I got on my own I chose not to be around them.  |
|
Date: 11/3/2002 11:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 49742
I raised my children the way Zeplin described. I am proud to say that all three grown kids have grown up to be adults I am proud of. They don't smoke. They drink moderatly and thank goodness don't use drugs. They admit to trying pot when they were in high school, at a party, but didn't find it to be all that. |
|
Date: 11/3/2002 11:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 49742
Don't anyone think that if you smoke, drink,etc. that I am saying you're a bad person. I am an ex-smoker and am soo glad I was able to quit, because I lost loved ones to lung cancer and emphyzema. That is why I never wanted my kids to take up the habit of drugs, alcholism, or smoking...for health reasons and what it can do to your life. |
Date: 11/3/2002 1:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 46486
I agree  |
Date: 11/3/2002 11:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 18516
My parents have always told me that I can do whatever I want when it comes to life after graduation.. as long as I'm happy. I don't have to go to college and they'll be fine with that. When it comes to my schoolwork then they tell me to do the best that I can. I will admit I am spoiled and like Becky I've got my dad wrapped around my finger..lol My parents say they spoil me because of certain reasons. (I won't go into it) The way I've grown up happens to be one of them but like I said..I'm not going into that. Me and my parents do argue and disagree but I still love them.  |
