The new elementary school counselor was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. She approached and asked if the girl was all right. The girl said she was fine.
A little while later, however, the counselor noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, she offered,
"Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said,
"Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the counselor then asked,
"Why are you standing here all alone?"
The little girl heaved a sigh of great exasperation and said,
"Because . . . I'm the goalie!"
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Morris was visiting a friend in the hospital. He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A lady said to him with a snarl, 'Sir, there's no smoking in here.'
"Morris said, 'I'm not smoking lady.'
" 'But you have a cigar in your mouth,' the woman said.
" 'Lady, ' Morris answered, 'I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not riding a horse.' "
==========================================
Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like. Here in Virginia we have signs saying "Deer Crossing". At Yellowstone you have signs saying "Bear Crossing". In Africa you have signs saying "Elephant Crossing". And in Washington DC, you have signs saying "Double Crossing".
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