You just have to take one day at a time. You really do. I try, I think that I'm failing at it Miserably, but, I'm not, I'm Doing it. That is what life is all about, Doing it. I learn from each moment and step that I take in life. I Strive, I go forward, I complete the task with Knowledge. I learn something from all that I do, I leave nothing undone. Yes, I am one of those annoying people that has to have answers to most everything, I like and strive to Finish what I start. Gracious, I'm so bad for seeking understanding of my own being. Take me out back and shoot me.
With all of the frustrations of daily life that we all have, I tend to stick it out where others slump into a sorrow. I tend to not be a depressive person more so than others. I am a person that needs answers, so much so that it annoys others that know me. OH, Holy God, am I sensetive too! At the same time there is so much that I let go of, I am an Extremely forgiving person. People just tend to look at what they see and not at what they wan't or don't want to see in others, mainly in themselves.
People tend to see a "must" for an answer or compleation of a task as a fault in me, I see this as a Continuance and Quentencial part of life. Everyone needs different fulfillments in life, this is mine, Answers and knowledge of what to expect or plan for next. Trust me, my environment has structured me this way. I never mean to ask something that I can't have. I Mean! Somewhat, I feel that people should just be honest and go the distance for theirselves and others. If a person can't go the distance for themselves, how can they for me, Seek their own being, and look for understanding in theirselves? You truly have to Understand yourself and have a general knowledge of the world before you can understand another soul or being. You truly have to be able to accept each person in this world and in life universaly and without racism, you have to want to love others that you cross paths with. I know I have never come across one person in life that I didn't love and didn't accept wholly. I never prejudge, I love for the experience and for the chance that it is a forever thing.
I live for today, tommorow, and the far future, I plan. Things may change course on me, this I am willing to accept with patience. I may not like it but, I won't bat an eye at the change if I can help it. I do the best that I can and that is all that I can expect of myself, it is all that I can expect of others. It is living life, it is loving what you have and not what you want. It is an Unselfish thing wholeheartedly thing. I know for a fact that I am no where near a perfectionists point of any of it. I just have the Understanding, that is the first step. One day, I will have found that one true Companion if I already havn't. Enjoy and Love, accept others for what they are. Above all, whatch your expectations.
People tend to get very dissapointed in others , especially when their expectations superceed the reality of what another is capable of. Like I said, I see expectations as dissapointments when one relys on what they selfishly want and Expect of another. Lets be Honest, were all Guilty of it. I know I would like to say others do not dissapoint me, but, they do, otherwise I would have no sorrow in the reality of life. I rag on myself to an extreme more than I do others, ok, way more. The thing is we all dissapoint ourselves and others dissapoint us, we also dissapoint others. This is all due to Our Expectations.
Wheather it is in ourselves or others, having expectatatations causes dissapointment. It makes no difference in who it is in, it just happens, it is a God given fault of human nature. A want for WHAT we want and do not have. What we look forward too. That is why it is called an Expectation.
10/24/02
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