" the first time and she shows him " wooden nickel

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beat red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..." She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."

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Dear God,

I'm writing to say I'm sorry For being angry yesterday When you seemed to ignore my prayer And things didn't go my way First, my car broke down I was very late for work But I missed that awful accident Was that your handiwork?

I found a house I loved But others got there first I was angry, then relieved When I heard the pipes had burst! Yesterday, I found the perfect dress But the color was too pale Today, I found the dress in red And would you believe -- on sale!

I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blest For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best! I have this circle of E-mail friends, Who mean the world to me; Some days I "send" and "send", At other times, I let them be.

When I see each name download, And view the message they've sent; I know they've thought of me that day, And "well wishes" were their intent. I am so blessed to have these friends, With whom I've grown so close; So this little poem I dedicate to them, Because to me they are the "Most"!

So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank you for being a part; Of all my daily contacts, This comes right from my heart. God bless you all is my prayer today, I'm honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until we write again.

==================================== Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.

All my love, Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx

P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

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Keeping dreams while they last trying not to live so fast in this world we live today keeping faith with time to pray

Spreading love is what we do taking the time to love me too getting through from day to day seeing people pass and saying hey

Inspiration is what makes us live never thinking of how much to give we put our hearts in everything we do always thinking of our future too

Never giving up inside our mind walking with our souls so we're never blind

always knowing where your path will lead will always give you the things you need

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One evening, I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an overnight stay.

It was late, there was very little traffic, and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.

My daughter seemed deep in thought, when she said, "I have a question."

"What do you want to know?" I responded.

"Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"

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The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar, and then Elijah then commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know, I know," she said. "To make the gravy!"

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