Dear God, or whatever you are up there
Whats going on?!?! are you trying to break me? im beating my head against a wall trying to figure out what it is youre always trying to tell me. so whats the deal? i cant cut cause everyone will see and i cant scream cause everyone will hear and i cant speak my mind because the only response i ever get is SHUT UP. I make these little mistakes and BANG no more school. Bang no more house. BANG back in rehab! WHATS THE MATTER WITH YOU!! nothing thats what. Somethings the matter with me right? yeah thats it. that must be it. i must be genetically doomed to be STUPID. you know im really sitting here writing this but in my mind im smashing my head through a window. all i want to see are bruises and cuts and blood blood blood. i dont want to hurt anybody. just me. nobody. hey heres an idea. just go ahead in all your great power just return me to Earth. at least i might rot well. or do something. i cant take this any longer. if my suffering is doing any good for anybody i'd gladly endure it but if im only here to be the butt of their jokes and the target of their dirty looks then just go ahead and put me out of everybodys misery.
signed CJ How it changed my life:i was just writing what i felt. still feel that way. now i just know a little better how i feel. like $#!|
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