"Tag Him And Bag Him" or "Stick A Fork In Him, He's Done." **Frankenstein   Author:  47699  Category:(Discussion) Created:(11/26/2002 8:41:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (344 times) Well, my fortieth birthday is coming up very soon and, although I didn't think it would, it's really hitting me kind of hard. When I look in the mirror, I see my dad. He's seventy-one now and he's had a little bit of eyebrow trouble for quite a few years now. I was in the bathroom at work yesterday and I happened to see a really long, wild hair coming out of my left eyebrow so I pulled it out. Today, it happened again. It seems like my bride is always pulling hairs out of my ear lobes. For some reason, she does it with her teeth. LOL! God! I'm getting old! When you're young, you never think it will happen to you. Somehow, you'll be the first one to ever escape it. At least that's what you want to believe and maybe you even do but I'm sorry. No matter what you do, it happens. The only way to avoid it is to die young and I wouldn't recommend that. As I've said before, if I am lucky enough to just attain the current age of life expectancy, my time is more than half over. Do you realize that, in dog years, I'm two hundred and eighty years old? Whoa! In a strange sort of way, I'm older than the United States of America! In just twenty years, I'll be celebrating my tricentennial! I'm to the point where I really appreciate the simple things in life. There are many mornings when I don't have the slightest clue as to what time I went to bed. Something can happen and five minutes later, I don't remember it. I've noticed that my vision isn't quite what it used to be when I'm driving at night. How long will it be before I'm buying diapers for myself with my Social Security check? Is this a mid-life crisis? It seems worse than that to me. I think I'm taking things way too seriously. I've found that the silver in my beard earns me some respect and consideration at work. I'm not expected to move so fast even though I could if I wanted to. There are times when some of the teenage guys will rush to my aid because, in the eyes of many teenagers, I'm an old codger. That's really funny to me because my dear bride is a teenager. She doesn't see it that way at all. LOL! You know you're old when you have more candles than cake. It won't be long before I just get a blob of wax with some icing on it. Maybe I could quit working and someone would adopt me. Those little puppies with all of the wrinkles are really cute and popular so who knows? I could be 'old, puppy-face guy' or something. I could make my eyes look all sad so they would take me home. I don't know. I know it isn't over yet. The fat lady hasn't even started to sing yet but I did happen to see her backstage warming up. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  47699 ( Click here ) Spring is coming