1) A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
2) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
3) Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
4) A day without sunshine is like night.
5) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
6) If you can't convince them, confuse them. ----- (I've seen this one used in the Debate Section :D)
7) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
8) I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
9) Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
10) OK, so what's the speed of dark?
11) I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
12) Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
13) It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example.
14) It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
15) If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
16) Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
17) If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
18) Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
19) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
20) A closed mouth gathers no foot.
21) Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
22) Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
23) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
26) Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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