10 WAYS TO GET RID OF A BLIND DATE

1. Excuse yourself to use the rest room. Go back to the head waiter/ hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask them "What took you so long in the bathroom?"

2. Order a bucket of lard.

3. Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.

4. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets and relatives.

5. Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.

6. Attempt to auction your date off to people nearby.

7. Order a baked potato. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato, have the first one back on your plate.

8. If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite, pretend like the food is disgusting and say, "Man, did you get ripped off!"

9. Occasionally speak in Pig Latin throughout the meal.

10. Accuse your date of espionage. Pretend you have a secret microphone hidden on your body and you are talking the CIA.

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