Date: 1/26/2003 7:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 60162
At the end of the day.. it really is up to her. The best thing to do is tell her how you feel. If you report it they may have to wait for her to say something or worse still, she may deny it all out of fear and he may come after you. Be careful, but I really think its up to her.  |
Date: 1/26/2003 7:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
I would call the police! For sure! At one time it was snowing outside & very cold! I lived on top of a mountain! In a valley! My x-husband came home drunk that night! It was late! He wokw me up screaming at me because dinner wasn't warm! I got up & microwaved it for him! He was drunk off his butt! I was in a thin nightie & he threw mw outside in the snow & locked the door! I had to walk a mile to the nearest house for help! It was so embarsing! They called the police & I pressed charges! They took him away & I got everything I could in my car & left that night! It was horrible! I had bruses on my arms where he had grabbed me! My mom took pictures! Later he would take a contract out on my life & my family! Help where ever you can!  |
Date: 1/26/2003 7:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
What an idiot. Anyone who beats on a woman isd a total loser. I would not only rat him out but I also would open up a fifty gallon drum of Tail whup on him. I would honestly try to stomp a mudhole in his butt and walk it dry. That idiot should appreciate what and who he has got. My upbringing prohibits me from beating a woman. But now if she throws the first punch then it isnt beating but a fight! But for trivial crap such as a dish. no way. turn him in or give me his address!!!  |
Date: 1/26/2003 7:50:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
oops I didn't mean it literally. It's a "what would you do story" It's also a debate question, is it better to stay out of it. Or open your mouth and speak out against it and help someone. It's true it may never amount to anything if she goes back but at least she'd know that someone else wasn't being fooled by him. :)  |
Date: 1/26/2003 7:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
oh ok you may want to append this post and make sure you say it is fictional or not true but a debate type post. Got my fur ruffled for a few minutes there.
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Date: 1/26/2003 7:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
MOONGIRL!!! You are amazing. I think you have some mighty courage. I'm so glad that you got away. And that your ok. I was married and he was very abusive also, nothing like your ex but I feel if I hadn't left when I did it would eventually turn out that way. I'm so glad for you . Smokinjoe you must have some southern in you. :) you sound like the boys down here. I totally agree with you guys that beat women are loser but thier also cowards they are afraid of real men that would kick their butts so they pick on people that are vulnerable and beat down emotionally. I agree to a point on the woman hitting a man. There's a fight and then theres just the control issue. |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
You jsut dont know how southern I am!!! I play Banjo with my feet and eat mah grits through a straw lmao. But no I am proud of my southern backwoods counrty upbringing!! And the fact I am the only person in fifty miles that can operate a computer and can even spell mah name right! All that from a seventh grade edgeumacation |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:02:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
HA HA HA HA SmokinJoe, you crack me up!!!! |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
Domestic Viloence has become the # 1 killer in America! Womwn think they are safe when they get a restraining order on their abusive husbands but the reality of it is two fold! The husband gets served & reads everything the wife has written! This sometimes makes a person madder & he does the extreme like murder! |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
In all reality I should stay away from this post as it brings up feelings & memories I really don't want to deal with right now! |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:09:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
I so totally agree Moongirl. It does seem that a restraining order never helps. Especially to a person who is already crazed as it is. I think the best is to put the guy in jail and the woman and children (if she has any) should leave and never see him again. I really think so. |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
Did you know that in jail if the inmates know what you are in for say rape then the same gets applied to you at lights out!! espicially if you have to pull time. So if he smacks women and gets a free ride in the patrol car he might not like his cell or his new roomies!! |
Date: 1/26/2003 8:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
LOL!!!@SmokinJoe..hehheehehee..we say ..ed.u.fication lol!! I'd ring the police for sure, and maybe try to befriend the woman...they are cowards for sure and probably if they were confronted by another man they would die...good post hun..Zema  |
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Date: 1/26/2003 8:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
SmokinJoe, I heard that exact same thing. Talk about payback. LOL. Zema, I know that it is true. Any man I know would have a hard time controling himself around a guy like that. My boyfriend has a friend that is his brother-in-law and that guy beats his wife. It's awful I've met her a few times and she's very sweet, timid, but sweet. She doesn't know I know. My boyfriend said he'd like to take him behind a barn and show him how men fight. I laughed because I told him if he'd hold him, I'd take a frying pan and show him what they were REALLY made for. LOL I mean it too. |
Date: 1/26/2003 8:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 58454
well me and my mom and sis went through alot of that while my mom and dad were together and if my boyfriend of husband ever hit me or beat me to the point of death id mostlikely kill him or hurt him to the point he would no longer be noticed at to who he was a week or so before, no woman ornybody has to go through that at all i think men who beat their wives or ne part of their family should be gotton rid of asap and i know it sounds harsh on my behalf but so many people die fromthis i just won't and don't want to see any body get hurt or have a nde because no body deserves it and its not right. men can get away with this, wemon sometimes thats why i would never take a martial arts class cause if i was ever beat i would most likely hurt or kill that person and if they lived i would go to jail for my hand being considered lethal weapons but heck i know how to fight but women don't deserve it *badgirl169*  |
Date: 1/26/2003 10:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 10722
Kill the wife beater.  |
Date: 1/26/2003 11:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 49269
Ring the police if i was positive he was a wife-beater. No-one deserves to be treated like that.  |
Date: 1/27/2003 4:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 47296
I have had to make that decision before on more than one occasion. In years past, it was up to the woman to file charges. Those times are fast coming to a close though. Most states now have laws on the book that allow law enforcement to file the charges themselves whenever Domestic Violence is obvious. In some cases, when it is obvious that both parties played a role in the violence, in other words the woman fights the man just as hard, both parties can be arrested, and the judge makes the final decision on who is at fault. I did a post on DV back in October, and asked several questions to get people's thoughts. Unfortunately, it is still a subject that few people wish to address. Therein lies a major problem with dealing with it. There are still too many people who fell is the woman really wants help, she will ask for it. One must understand the mind of the man that will commit sucha crime though. It is a matter of control, and once it gets to the point of physical control, the mental control has usually already been won. The woman is normally threatened with losing everything she has, including family and personal belongings. She is normally threatened that if she goes to the police or leaves, she will be hunted down and harmed or even killed. She is often told that she is worthless and that no other man will want her, and after being told that for so long, she begins to believe it. Domestic Violence does not just begin overnight. It is a progressive crime that builds up over time. For some victims, it is a pattern that has carried over since their childhood. They were abused either physically or mentally abused as a child, and that abuse carries over into their adult life. It is hard for them break the pattern of abuse, because it is all they have ever known. Some also fear that they will be ridiculed for allowing the abuse to happen. When it is all they have ever known, it is hard for them to adapt to any other type of life. It can take extensive counseling and outside help for them to overcome the pattern, and lead a productive, self sufficient life. Some areas are still lacking in shelters or centers to help these women. Other areas have extensive resources in place, and work closely with their local police departments. If you know of anyone who is a victim of Domestic Violence, do not sit idly by and wait for someone else to act. Act then and act fast. While your help may be resented at first, it will be the best thing you could ever do for the victim. In the end, they will thank you, and you will have not only gained a dear friend, but possibly saved a life.  |
Date: 1/27/2003 8:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 53683
If you don't get into their buisness then you are no better than the abuser. the person that is being abused may get mad at you but will thank you later even if its in their own mind
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Date: 1/27/2003 8:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 53683
my step mother is a cop and shewent to a girls house at least 3 tims a week for domestic violence and the girl would never press charges she told the girl that he would kill her one day and a week later he blew that girls had off in front of theirbaby and shot thegirls mom also she lived thank god at last the baby has a grandma |
Date: 1/27/2003 3:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 27270
I would call the police, even though it's not technically "my business" as I was told....if you ask me, humanity is EVERYONE'S business...of course, I'd never make the mistake again of trying to stop it myself because that's just dangerous and dumb (learned my lesson there) but I don't see how anyone could turn their back when they see and hear that and just do nothing...  |
Date: 1/27/2003 7:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
i would first call the cops,grab my weapon of choice(knife,m1 garand,8mm yogoslavian mauser or turkish mauser, or .22 cal.) and go and asses the situation to keep that woman and or child safe  |
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Date: 1/27/2003 7:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
but first i would have to ask "how big a boy are you?" |
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Date: 1/28/2003 5:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
All of your advice was good, (except the one where someone told me to kill the guy.) I wouldn't do that unless he was beating me. Or right there in front of me hurting someone. It's true that someone should step in, but as in most cases, "easier said than done". I live away from where this person is, a diffrent city. I don't know them well enough, and there would be no proof. My saying something could cause him to hurt her more seriously than before. I don't know if I could live with knowing that I'm responsible for that. She's cowed right now. She's scared to leave. Everything that warrior spirit said is true in this case. Shoot!!! I don't even know the people's last name let alone thier address. But Like I said I just wanted your opinions and I appreciate your comments. Thanks. |
Date: 1/28/2003 11:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
i can totally see how any person, male or female, could be cowed by someone w/an anger-management problem over time, even if the anger never showed itself in public; mental damage is easier to inflict, easier to hide, & harder to heal from after all, & it is humiliating as hell to admit it can't be solved as quietly as it happened, or that you can't seem to handle it yourself...i'm not worried abt the guy who threatens to hit me-- if i'm gonna get it he is too, one way or another --but suffice the sweet ones really are the ones to watch. good luck to your friend. cheers,  |
Date: 1/29/2003 1:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 57225
i would step in, even if it isn't my business, and there may be some not so great consequences in it for me, but i couldn't sit back knowing what was going on and that i could possibly stop it, it just isn't right  |
Date: 2/1/2003 4:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 48941
Great post.. I once was in a very abusive relationship, that lasted for a year and a half.. I ended up getting out of it because in the end he tried to kill me.. It was tuff, because I blamed myself for alot of it.. I now know it wasn't me it was him and he was the one with the problem.. I wish someone would of steped in, but they never did.. Oh I had people knowing what was going on and telling me to get out, but no one would help me get.. Then there were the people who just couldn't believe he was like that untill the morning he tried to kill me.. All I can say is if I ever come across something like that I will have no problem stepping in and doing something about it..  |
