====================
Although it's quite a statement
Well, it happens to be true
The best friend I have ever had
I'm glad to say, is you.
You're there if I should need you
And you never turn away
I know I can depend on you
At any time of day.
We've had our ups and downs
As nearly everybody does
But problems never last for long
With special friends like us.
Some people have so many friends
With whom they spend their time
But no-one has a best friend
Who's as wonderful as mine.
So thanks for always being there
Your friendship's strong and true
And I just want to let you know
I'm always there for you !
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As I was dropping my son off at day care the other day, I overheard some of the children talking about their siblings. "My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one. "My sister takes gymnastics," said another. Not to be outdone, the Little Johnny piped up, "My sister takes antibiotics!"
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Two politicians, a Democrat and a Republican, are talking in a bar. "I never lose an opportunity to promote the Party," says the Republican. "For instance, when I take a cab, I always give the driver a really big tip and tell them to vote Republican!" "That's interesting," replies the Democrat. "Whenever I take a cab, I just pay the basic fare, give no tip at all, and tell them to vote Republican!"
======================
Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean...they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch more!"
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Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one, "Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't think so? Let me show you." And he called his driver Ah Beng over and said, "Jim, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." To which Jim replied, "Yes Sir! Right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Ali: "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." Ali said, "Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir" and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here." Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Jim said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that today is Sunday?? The showroom is closed!" Ali replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is sooo much worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home....He's got a cellphone, right, he can just call home to check....!
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