Date: 3/6/2003 5:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 46069
That is abou tthe age kids start to get inquisitive about death... they dont understand really wnat it is... i think the actually funeral would be ok or the viewing but not the burial.. that would maybe scare her knowing taht a peron is in a box being buried... unless of course they were cremated  |
Date: 3/6/2003 5:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 25756
Yes, I think so. I kinda agree with what sk8r said, but unless she gets very scared she should be allowed to go to both. It also might depend on the relation of the dead person to your daughter on how emotional it might be. :o)  |
Date: 3/6/2003 5:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 51635
I think at that age they need closure as much as any adult... the sooner they understand that death is a part of life the easier it will be for them to deal with it later in life...  |
Date: 3/6/2003 5:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 8278
i went through this exact problem a year and a half ago. my sons grandfather passed away unexpectedly. my son was close to him and didn't quite understand what was going on. he was 6 at the time. i took him to the viewing and it hit him then. he did cry and, yes, it broke my heart. but i am glad i took him. to this day he remembers getting to see papa one last time. i didnt take him to the funeral, but he remembers the viewing and it seems to make him feel a little better that he went.  |
Date: 3/6/2003 5:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 33925
How close is she to the person that passed away?? I find that if the child is extremely close its harder for them to deal with the whole concept of death..Its easier to take them to a viewing or funeral of someone they dont know as well..kind of gradually introduce them to the concept of death and dying..Four is young..but old enough to be having questions the need answers to..  |
Date: 3/6/2003 5:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 53013
I think kids should go. They may not understand death, but it gives them a chance to say "good-bye".  |
Date: 3/6/2003 5:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
I refuse to go to them and I won't let my children go to them, I think they are barbaric and truthfully just a husk. My children know of death and what happens (or what I think happens) we also honour the dead in our own way. Why do people want to go view a dead body anyway?  |
Date: 3/6/2003 6:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 37101
I think it would be okay to take her to a viewing or a funeral. It DOES offer closure, even if they don't fully understand the concept of "why". Emotional taxation is natural. Why try and prevent it? She won't be scarred for life. -  |
Date: 3/6/2003 6:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 53909
I think that it would be alright for kids to go. I remember going to a funeral of my dad's friend's daughter that died. She was only four. Her brother and cousins were there too. I remember watching them chase each other around the cemetary. I don't know if they really understood too well, but they got the chance to say goodbye.  |
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Date: 3/6/2003 6:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
What none of us our commenting on is the fact that you say you aren't very comfortable with the idea of taking your four year old. Run with that feeling, if you aren't comfortable how are they going to be. |
Date: 3/6/2003 6:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 943
My 1st thought was, if you aren't comfortable, don't do it. There is plenty of time to introduce him to death. 4 is young to me.  |
Date: 3/6/2003 8:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 59418
ask your daughter if she wants to go. It's up to her really. I went to a funeral when i was 4, i didn't really understand what was going on, and uhhh...i was eatin chips most of the time *blush*...If she wants to go, i guess thats ok..metal princess  |
Date: 3/6/2003 8:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 31255
My step father died when I was 5, and it was really difficult to have closure. I had wished I could have gone to the funeral with my mom but she didn't feel like it was appropriate or something. I think a veiwing would have been scary and even traumatic but I think a funeral is not a bad thing for a child and keeps to give them the needed closure. It obviously depends how close the child is to the person who passed away though.  |
Date: 3/6/2003 8:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 3125
I think if you treat death as a natural thing and explain to the child what is going on, then I believe it helps them to accept the loss of loved ones in adulthood..I would also encourage my child to ask questions.  |
Date: 3/6/2003 9:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
go with your own feelings hun...I personally think 4yrs is too young, when I was 3yrs the convent I attended had all us younguns at a midday mass funeral, and we all had to walk around the coffin at the altar carrying lit candles, and to this day I can still remember the crying and sobbing of people there and that was a lonnnnnnnnggggggggggg time ago...but stuck in my memory bank...hugs Zema  |
Date: 3/6/2003 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
ask her how she feels...tell her she will have to sit quiet and listen to people talk then go and sit around while people talk...and that it's a sad occasion because someone had died and people will be sad... i went to one when i was young.. i still remember... i think it's good children understand death as well as life  |
Date: 3/7/2003 8:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 44321
If you are not comfortable ,then No and it depends also on who the viewing/funeral is for. I only went to 2 of them as a kid at the ages of 11 and 13..Both were my grandparents.  |
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Date: 3/7/2003 11:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 53052
have the option of a babysitter set up so that way if need be you can call the babysitter to come pick her up if it's too much for her |
Date: 3/7/2003 8:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 51070
I first went to a funeral when I was 12. Kids aren't pieces of delicate china, you know. They need to learn about death and such some time in their life.  |
16069 Category:(Discussion) Created:(3/6/2003 5:23:00 PM)