I stood in a dark passage. I did not know where I was or how I came to be here. All around me was pitch black except for the end of the tunnel ahead, where there was a yellow light. I walked toward the light, feeling nothing but dry stale air all around. My footsteps echoed off the stone floor and my head throbbed. I couldn’t think straight, my mind was littered with memories that I couldn’t quite understand or remember. The memory of a green house on a corner. A red car torn to pieces, and a beautiful girl whose name I didn’t know. I continued to stumble down the corridor toward the light. The closer I got, the clearer the memories became, and it became more difficult to put them together. So many memories! But not one of them made sense. My mouth was dry and a lump had formed in my throat. Some water would be nice. Maybe even necessary. Then a voice came, but it wasn’t really a voice. Just an idea in my head that didn’t really form a word. <Do you know why you’re here? It asked me.> “No,” I croaked. The lump in my throat began to grow larger, and the passage began to take on heat. <You know, It said. You know and you will remember.> “I can’t remember anything,” I said to the unseen, unheard voice. “All I have are a few memories, and even those don’t make sense.” <They make perfect sense, you simply don’t want them to make sense.> “Then you tell me what they mean.” <Come toward the light and you will see.> I continued toward the light, but this task was becoming increasingly difficult. Every step I took was a tremendous endeavor, and my the pounding in my head was unbearable. My throat was parched probably beyond revival. <Remember.>
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I picked up the phone and dialed Penelope’s number. I waited for three rings and she picked up. “Hello?” She said. “Hi,” I said. “Hi,” She replied. “What are you doing?” “Waiting for you to call.” “Ok, now what?” “I don’t know, what?” “Want to do something?” “Like what?” “I don’t know, like what?” “That’s up to you.” “Want to go out?” “Go out where?” “Where do we usually go?” “I don’t know.” “Let’s go to the park.” “Okay,” She said. I hung up the phone. _______________________________________
<Are you beginning to remember? It asked me.> “Is she the girl I saw?” <Yes, you are remembering now> “Who is she?” <You’ll see.>
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Penelope and I walked through the park. I could barely take my eyes off of her. Her long brown hair rippled as she walked, and her soft complexion brought light to the storm-darkening sky above. “What?” She asked me with a grin. “What?” I returned. “What are you staring at?” “You?” “Am I that interesting?” “If only you knew.” “Why don’t you tell me?”
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<Tell me what you know.> “Her name is Penelope, I met her in third grade. I think I asked her out in eighth, but she said no-” <That infuriated you.> “No!” I argued. <So it made you happy> “No,” I admitted. <Then it made you angry> “A little.” <More than a little. You stalked her for over a year> “She never found out,” I said. “I followed her everywhere for a year and she never found out. Her friends noticed. They warned her about me but she didn’t listen.” <Maybe she should have> “Where am I?” <There is plenty of time for that. We will focus on more important things for now.> “I want to know where I am-”
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I stood in front of my bedroom mirror. Penelope downstairs waiting, I had but a few minutes to practice. I faced the mirror and said; “Penelope, will you marry me?” It didn’t sound right, so I raised my voice a little. “Penelope, will you marry me?” I said again. That was no good because I sounded like Mickey Mouse. I got down on one knee and said it. It still didn’t sound right. So I stood up and said it normally. “Yes,” Penelope said from behind. I spun around. “I didn’t know you were listening.” I said, a little embarrassed. “Ask me again,” She said. “Get down on one knee and ask me, you don’t have to be fancy. I’ll say yes.” “Okay,” I said.
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<What happened next?> “We got married,” I said, stating the obvious. <Did you?> “Of course we did!” <Where did you get married?> I tried to think. Where had we gotten married. I didn’t know. “I don’t know,” I admitted. <If you don’t know where you got married, then how do you know that you got married at all?> “I just know.”
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It was the morning of the wedding. It wasn’t to be a large wedding, actually we were eloping, but that didn’t matter. We were getting married! I woke up that morning with a stomachache, which could be considered normal, considering the events that were to unfold that day. I dressed in a pair of black slacks, a white dress shirt, and a blue suit jacket. I walked into the bathroom to shave, after that I took some medicine for my stomach and went back into the room. Penelope was still asleep on the bed. I smiled and walked over to her. Leaning close, I said: “Wake up honey.” Her eyes opened and her gaze met mine. “It’s the big day huh?” She said to me. “Yeah,” I replied.
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<What else do you remember?> “I can’t remember anything after that.” <Did you get married?> “I don’t know.” <What kind of medicine did you take that morning?> “It was this new drug the doctor gave me. For my stomach.” <Did you have these stomach problems often?> “Yes, all the time, the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me.” <Were there any side effects of that drug?> “Not that I know of.”
<How do you know?> “I don’t-what does this have to do with anything?”
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We walked out the door of my apartment. Instead of a white dress, Penelope wore a dark blue jumper to match my jacket. We got into my banged up Chevy and I started the engine. It made a strange sound as we drove down the street. I glanced over at Penelope and grinned. She returned with a laugh. I turned onto main street and encountered heavy traffic. “What time was our wedding?” I asked her. “Noon,” She said. I glanced at the clock. Eleven-fifty. “We’ve got to hurry,” I said. “Watch your speed,” Penelope warned. “Don’t worry.” I sped up. I suddenly became aware that I had a headache. A bad headache. The medicine I had taken for my stomach? That was all I could think of. The must have caused it. “Watch out!” Penelope screamed. I had drifted into the wrong lane. I swerved just in time to miss an oncoming car. It flew past, missing me by inches. “Pull over!” Penelope ordered. What she said didn’t register. My vision began to blur. I couldn’t control my body. “Watch out-” Everything went black.
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<Now do you remember?> “Yes,” I said numbly. “I remember.” <Your headache and muscle failure was due to the medication you took before you left the house. Your actions took the lives of two people, including yourself.> “I’ve never had any side effects when I took those pills. This was the first time.” <But it happened, and that is all that matters.> “It wasn’t my fault.” <You took the pills, you exceeded the speed limit, it was your fault.>
“I’m only human.” <And as a human you must know what happens to killers when they die.> “I’m not a killer.”
<Most will use that argument, none will succeed.>
“Where am I?”
<Where do you think you are?> The tunnel vanished and I was standing in the throne room of a palace. All of the surfaces of this room were gold, and none of it had the slightest blemish. At the front of this room there should have been a throne, as this was a throne room. But instead there was a large wooden desk, and a man sitting in a high-backed leather chair behind it. The man wore a black business suit with a black tie. He stood up and walked toward me. “Jonathon Malard,” He said, pulling a piece of paper out of nowhere. “It seems you have quite a wrap-sheet here. You played violent video games, you cheated on a test…excuse me: tests. You were involved in several fights at school, and you killed two people. Not what I would call model behavior.” “I didn’t mean to kill her!” “I think we’ve established that Mr. Malard,” He said. “Now what about the video games?” “They’re just games.” “That they are, but those games promoted killing.” “I never killed anyone because of those games.” “But you did kill someone, yes?” “I didn’t mean to.” “Yes, we keep coming back to that, what about the cheating?” “It was just one question, I needed to pass the test.” “If it were just one question, then why did you need it? Wouldn’t you have passed the test anyway? What does it matter if you miss one? Besides, cheating is lying, and lying is a sin. What about the fights?” “I can explain the fights.” “Explain then.” “The guy hit me, I had to do something.” “Did you have to hit back?” “No, I guess not, but what else could I do?” “You could have walked away.” “Walked away? Well, I guess, it wasn’t that important.” “No, it wasn’t” “So what now?” “Well, I have one question for you. After all these things you’ve done, why should I forgive you?” “Because it wasn’t my fault!” “Not your fault? Not your fault that you played violent video games? Not your fault that you cheated on a test? That you lied? That you hit someone? That you killed someone, and not just anyone, the woman you loved?” “I didn’t know,” I argued. “What didn’t you know?” “I didn’t know that the medicine would make me pass out, I didn’t know it was wrong to play those games…how could I know?” “You could have known. You could have known all of this. I told everyone, after all.” “You didn’t tell me!” “Oh but I did, I told you every day, and you chose to ignore it. It was your choice all along, and it was your fault, and now you will have to live forever with the knowledge that you killed the woman you loved. Now leave, I don’t know you.” The palace faded and was in another type of room. This room was smaller. All of the walls were faded gray, and the door was barred. A cell. “Welcome Johnny,” A voice said. I spun around looking for the source of the voice, but it was not to be found. “Do you know where you are?” “No!” Shouted. “I’m tired of this! Where am I? What is this?” “Isn’t it obvious?” “I’m not dead!” I screamed. “I’m alive! What kind of a sick joke is this?!” “No, you’re not dead. You’re alive, and you’ll stay that way for all eternity.”
The cell began to heat up. It was warm at first, then it became unbearably hot.
“Stop!” I yelled in anger and fear. “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” “If that were true that you wouldn’t be here!” I voice laughed. The heat turned into fire, the fire engulfed me. It was pain unlike any pain I had ever felt. The dryness in my throat and my throbbing headache had nothing on this.
“What do you want?” I screamed. “What do you want!” The fire stopped, but the pain remained. The door to my cell was open. I ran out into a hallway and found that I was in a cell block. Prison cells like mine lined these walls, and all of them were engulfed in flame. I ran through the inferno, feeling the heat against me, and the excruciating pain from my extensive burns with every step I took. I kept running, but there was no end to this prison block.
“I’ll tell you what,” The voice said. “There is a way that you and everyone else here can escape.”
“Tell me how!” I demanded. “There is a prisoner in the cell next to you.”
I stopped and looked into the cell. I couldn’t see through the flames. “There is a knife in your hand,” The voice told me. I looked down and there was a shiny scythe blade in my hand.
“The prisoner in that cell has been given an assignment, and when he completes that assignment all of you here will be free to go.”
“What is his assignment?” I asked.
“He has been asked to say a sing word, and when he says it, all of you may leave.”
“What if I say it?”
“First, you must drive the knife into the chest of that man in the cell. Then you have the ability to say this word.”
“How can I kill a man that isn’t alive in the first place?” I demanded.
“Things like this are not for you to question, just do so, and you will be one step closer to escape.” The cell door opened and the fire subsided to reveal an old man sitting in the corner of his cell. He had been here for a while. His clothes were rags and his hair was gone. His entire body was covered with third-degree burns.
“Do it.” The voice commanded.
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” The old man croaked.
I walked into the cell the plunged the knife into his chest.
“Very good,” The voice said.
“Tell me the word, and I’ll say it,” I said.
He told me.
“No,” I said. “I won’t say that.”
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