Date: 3/18/2003 8:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
well.....you already know how i feel on this subject....i wish you luck hon :)  |
Date: 3/18/2003 8:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
sounds like he might need some anger management classes.. you need to stand up for yourself... instead of hiding and crying voice yoru opinion... see if someone can take care of the children and just have a heart to heart for a few hours with your hubby... try councelling... there are probally some issues that you have been hiding and probally some he has been hiding.. and by your crying yoru just bottling and he is venting his frustrations.. remember your not at fault.. neither is he.. don't play the blame game because that isn't going to get you anywhere.... you two need to talk out your issues(if you want go pick up some martial books that help you understand the hard questions to ask they might help if you can't afford tharapy)  |
Date: 3/18/2003 9:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
Sweetie! he probably thinks you can do better & is trying to push you away! If you truely love him, get into group council or family council! There is hope! Run with it!  |
Date: 3/18/2003 9:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 11721
May I suggest some counciling individually and as a family. Marriage isn't an easy thing in the first place and neither is a "new" handicap! Good luck!  |
Date: 3/18/2003 11:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 18406
hmm i personally think it be better if you tried to stay with him but maybe get him some help. I think if you still love him, you should help him through this. But if he won't get help- leave him. But i wouldn't give him an ultimatum (sp?) i hate ultimatums. Just do it without making him choose- he might resent you if you make him choose. hopefully you will be able to understand my babble :)  |
Date: 3/19/2003 1:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 18516
Have you guys thought about going to a marriage counselor? I think that might help!!  |
Date: 3/19/2003 2:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
Clarissa you already know my thoughts on this hon..We talked about this last night. Dreamer gave you some sound advice on your "serious advice" post as well. I hope some here can give you some good advice and maybe a little bit of piece of mind..You deserve to be happy, and so does your husband.  |
Date: 3/19/2003 3:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 42945
Marriage counsellor hun, sorry you are going through this...hope it all works out for you...hugs  |
Date: 3/19/2003 5:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 53900
Well I would have to say that everyone here has given you some good advice...but above what everyone else tells you do what you belive in your heart is the right thing to do. I would also say the heart to heart is a very good idea. Hemay think you can do better or may want to push you away because he feels like he is a different person and let you down in some way...it could be so many possibilities but you will never know unless you can find some way to get him to open up to you and tell you what is in his heart and his mind. Good luck in whatever you decide though...(((HUGS)))  |
Date: 3/19/2003 11:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 22721
Because he's in a wheelchair, he might feel like less of a person and he might be taking it out on you. Just be patient and talk things over.  |
Date: 4/18/2003 1:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 43186
Clarrisa, marriage is hard enough, but then to have to deal with what your husband is going through also, would take it's toll on anyone's marriage. I agree with most, go to counseling. SOmetimes it is a major help to have a third party to intervenene and try to help each of you understand the other's feelings. I hope it all works out for you cause you sure sound like you love him. Tight Hugs,  |
Date: 4/18/2003 3:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 54444
CLARISSA. I FIRST WANT TO SAY THAT I TRUELY KNOW ABOUT THE PAIN OF DEPRESSION. IT IS WORSE THAN ANY PHYSICAL PAIN I HAVE EVER HAD. Next I want to say that the best possible thing you could do right now is to get qualified counselling. Not just for you. Not just for your husband. but for your whole family. all five of you. I know your life is worth saving and your children are also worth saving. and I believe in my heart your marriage is also worth saving. Please believe me that it is possible to get through the pain you are feeling. but your odds are much better with good help. a good well qualified counsellor. Please do this.  |
Date: 4/19/2003 1:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 38324
I want to say thanks to all of you for your advice but now I am not so sure that councilling will help. I just recently found out that the real reason he is feeling this way is because he is in love with someone else. I came across an email that he wrote to her telling her that he is willing to leave his family for her. Now, she told him that she doesn't want him but the damage is already done. Now, he says he still loves me but he loves her too and that he is torn between the two of us. I don't want to lose him for other than my kids he is my whole life. We have been through so much together that I can't just let him go without a fight. What am I to do?....  |
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Date: 4/19/2003 4:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 54444
I still think it is not too late for counselling, ESPECIALLY if you want to save your marriage. all the more reason. It is possible to get beyond this but it will take hard work on both of yur parts. and my god the children must count to him for something. |
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Date: 4/20/2003 7:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 38324
I thank everyone for their comments. My husband has an appointment to see his doctor. I have explained to her how he has been feeling and she is gonna talk to him. She is gonna recommend counsilling for him and then we will go from there. I know I should see one too but right now I am more concerned about him for he needs it more than I do right now. Once I see some improvement in him then I will work on my problems. Love ya's all lots. See ya soon.... |
