What is a farneeze? Well it is best described by one of the most humiliating moments of my teen years.......
I was in English Class, my teacher had 10 minutes of silent reading at the start of every class. I found my book and pulled up a bean bag (it was a faux leather one, yes, this is important) I had just gotten out of lunch and we had been served bean burritos. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. As I sat there reading, I felt a pocket of gas welling up. I held it, squeezing tightly. It was becoming more and more painful to hold, each second seemed like an eternity. I tried to let some out quietly, but I heard a tiny squeal and decided against it. All of a sudden I got the urge to sneeze, I tried to talk my nose out of it, but it wasn't working, I knew I was going to have to sneeze, and I knew that when I did, the menacing fart would also escape. I thought I might be able to sneeze loud enough that it would conceal the fart.
....Sadly, I was mistaken, I didn't realize that bean bag chairs were accoustical devices. Hence the birth of the Farneeze.
Let this be a warning to all of you burrito lovers out there...Beano, never leave home without it!
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