Date: 4/10/2003 5:45:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Ok, I have to go now, I will be back in 30.  |
Date: 4/10/2003 5:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
your happy you hit her with a shoe? that's real mature, your telling your mother to throw your sister with two kids out, that's real mature there also, maybe you should try acting 25 instead of 10, your lucky your sister didn't press charges  |
Date: 4/10/2003 5:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 18527
jeez Miss C, sounds like my life, my sis is 22, (i am the oldest of 2) lives with my mom and has been such a meanie lately! I want to strangle her! She treats my mom like crap! Argh! If ya ever need to vent, let me know  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 5:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 18527
Base I wish I could hit my sis with a shoe but she would probably kill me or at least beat the crap out of me... |
Date: 4/10/2003 5:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 20956
i understand that you may have been upset, but hitting your sister with a shoe may have not been the best option. By the sounds of it, your sister is ungrateful but even so she is still your sister. Maybe throwing her out wasnt such a bad idea, it might teach her some responsibilty, but i think you should try to keep the shoe bashing to a minimum. hope you guys sort it out!   |
Date: 4/10/2003 6:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 53836
I'm seeing a pattern here...I'm the eldest too, we same to have similar probs and feelings...same age group too. I'm almost 27, my brother turned 24 yesterday, and my sister is 23. Read my poems Blow On and Gypsy Baby to understand how she gets to me...It's really something else being the oldest...I watched my sister and brother take over after I moved out and they've pushed and pulled my parents through the ringer several times. I hope your mother is able to find some peace. <3  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 18527
you do have a point Base but I understand how frustrated she can get... |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:19:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Base, the kids will remain in the house with thier FATHER who is obviously a RESPONSIBLE individual. I AM glad I hit her with the shoe, because until it smacked her in the back, it got her attention, and she turned around to listen to what I was saying, rather than typing away at the computer. |
Date: 4/10/2003 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 61893
Miss C. I am sorry that you have to go thru all of this. Of course you are going to stand up for your mom, she gave you life, heck if you don't stand up for her then who will. I was brought up to NEVER disrespect your elders. Your sister lives in YOUR house, you set the rules and if she don't like it then she can leave. I know she is already gone, but you get the point. As far as the sister pressing charges, remember this girl lives in her house. Yes, self control is an excellent thing to have, but we people that are not 100% perfect lose our cool sometimes.  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:22:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
I don't condone family "Violence" either, I have never been beaten, nor has anyone in my house. Go ahead and say I was acting like I was ten, I know full well what I was doing, and she knows I am right. WE don't settle arguments with police in my house, THAT would be immature. Calling the cops on your sister who changed your diapers, and UP UNTIL TODAY puts food in your mouth??? Now where does that make any sense??? |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Everyone looses control at one point or another, I didn't loose control, I was AIMING I wanted her attention. AND I GOT IT. I am a little worried about where she will go tonight, but going and searching the streets for her will do more harm than good. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 61893
I truely hope things turn out for the best for all involved |
Date: 4/10/2003 6:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 28946
I threw a few shoes in my day but they never hit what I aimed at. I'm sorry you are having this going on in your life along with the other sressors. Hugs.  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
"So, I became so frustrated I picked up a shoe and hit her with it REALLY HARD. She started to cry. I was GLAD!" if you had just wanted her attention you didn't need to do it really hard, you did it because you were frustrated you said it yourself in the post. You don't condone family violence but you do it, gotcha, next time my son's mother frustrates me I'm goin go ahead and just haul off and smack her one really hard upside the head, because after all everyone loses control and that's ok and then I'll tell her I did it because she wasn't listening to me. Nice message you're sending out. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:31:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
*Sigh* Thanks Penny, thnaks everybody... I am SO ANGRY at those two! |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:35:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Base, there is a BIG HUGE difference between ME, throwing a shoe at a snotty little PIG who happens to be the child whose diapers I CHANGED, who happens to be the one who fought off all the school bullies, who pays her REANT, FOOD, ELECTRIC, INTERNET, AND GAS MONEY, than a man hitting a woman. I am GLAD GLAD GLAD I hit her upside the head with SHOE. GLAD. YES GLAD. She is my sister, and I love her dearly. BUT, I will not allow her to disprespect ME, the person that REANTED the house we livein UNDER MY NAME, so that her STUPID EXBOYFRIEND would not have to move back home! I rented that house for HER. Why, because I am a DOORMAT, and the DOORMAT just had her come uppins! |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 61893
She hit her with a shoe, not a sledge hammer. I have been smacked with a shoe before, it hurt, but I learned my lesson. I not saying that it is OKAY for her to hit her, however hitting your sis with a shoe and smacking your ex down is two different matters. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
doesn't matter if it's the same thing or not, it's ok to hit people when you lose control, people aren't 100% perfect so when someone frustrates you or is ungrateful for the things you've done for them you can haul off and hit them and then be glad you did |
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Date: 4/10/2003 6:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Yeah, you are right Base. I should have let her get away with treating me, my mother, and our family like garbage... I should have continued to let her walk all over me, I should have kept paying her bills, and feeding her, and when I had something to say about her behaivior, I should have just let her continue to ignore me. And I should have just lied there and taken it like a real man... Geez, why didn't I think of that? <<<Note sarcasm... |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
Kicking her out of your house was enough to teach her you're not a doormat and you could have done that without hitting her, kicking her out tells her that you mean it, that she's ungrateful and that you're tired of her and until she wants to get her crap together and live by your rules she's not welcome in your house. What did hitting her do besides give you satisfaction? |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
No dear, you don't understand, I TOLD her to leave, and she ignored me! She wasn't hearing my words! She didn't take me seriously! She just kept typing away at the little keys on her computer that I AM PAYING FOR! |
Date: 4/10/2003 7:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 31765
so why not just pull the plug on the bill paying, change the locks, and pile her stuff on the front lawn? I understand anger and the feeling of losing control, but I have to agree with Base, hitting someone in anger never solves problems, only creates more. I do hope your situation improves and things work out.  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
I understand that you were frustrated and I agree with you kicking her out and that she needs to learn a lesson. I can understand why you're so angry and had you wrote something along the lines like I got so angry and frustrated I hit her with my shoe, it may not have been the most appropriate thing to do and I feel bad because I shouldn't have, I would have never said anything and I could have understood that. But the fact that you seemed to derive so much pleasure from your hit, isn't to me a good thing. When you start blaming other people for you hitting them when they didn't physically hit you first or threaten you with bodily harm it's not a good thing. It opens the doors for repeat things to happen in the future. In my opinion you shouldn't have hit her, no matter how much she wasn't listening to you it didn't give you the right to put your hands on her. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:26:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
I didn't put my hands on her, I threw a shoe at her head. And do you think I laughed and smiled when I did it??? Don't be rediculous! I am GLAD I hit her YES, but that doesn't mean I "Derrived pleasure from it" But I am glad I did it. I stood up for myself and I got my point accross, and now I have the house to myself. Of course she will probably be back tonight... She has no where else to go. Either way, I don't care. As long as she knows there are no more free rides. Like I said, you can call me awful, but I think you are in the minority if you count all the author only replies I got. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
I don't care if I'm in the minority, I'm not swayed by peer pressure, I form my own opinions. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
no officer it wasn't assault I didn't actually put my hands on him I just dropped a 30 pound brick on his head |
Date: 4/10/2003 7:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 39258
becoming glad isn't a form of pleasure? lmao  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 31765
Maybe we are the minority, but the majority isn't always right. If I'm reading Base correctly, his point is mine. Violence doesn't solve the root of the problem, and perhaps creates more. Turn things around for a moment. If your sister was talking to you, and for whatever reason she thought you weren't listening, and she threw something at you, how would you feel? I'm playing devil's advocate here, but still, I stand firm. Violence is never the answer. |
Date: 4/10/2003 7:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
I agree with Lady Phoenix and Base here. I can understand how hard it is to see your siblings walk over your mother, but violence doesnt have any do anything, other than becoming a bigger problem. Base, Does have a point here. In this post, you have stated several times that your sisters are idiots and that you were glad you hit your sister as well and really from reading this, seems like you did derive pleasure from it. I cant say if you actually did, because Im just going by my own perspective here. I have had my share of hitting my sister, but that was when I was 10 and she was 16...We were kids, immature, and learned the hard way that hitting one another WILL NEVER solve a problem. But, in retrospect, it is your life to live and your problem to deal with. Im not going to lecture you on how to live it. If I had been in your situation, and she wasnt listening, I would have called the police (if she was on the computer, I would unplug it- to do so) to escort her out of my house. And while the police were there, she could get her things, so that they could document it. Thats just me. *hugs* Hope it gets better..  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 7:56:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Like I said, you can say whatever you want. Call me immature call me "Violent", I already told you, in MY household, we resolve problems between ourselves. NOT by calling in your army of cops. I am glad you are 100% perfect. So what if in your eyes I am not. All that matters to me is, I know I am as good as I can be. I give from my heart, and my soul. And if people choose to take advantage of me rather than appreciate me, they must pay the price of not having me to lean on anymore. End of story. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Oh for petes sake people, you act like I pulled a gun on the child! Lets get back to reality for a minute ok? She called my mother who was just released from the hospital, and proceeded to make her cry. My mother nearly DIED! OK? The doctor looked at my mother and was bewildered as to why she wasn't in a diabetic coma! Then two days after she gets out of the hospital, my sister calls to yell and scream at her??? Hello? So I should just let her walk all over my mom too huh??? |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
No, but you seem to be justifying your actions instead of yourself taking responsibility of what may be the repercussions. Im not going to judge you, therefore Im not going to reply again, because I dont feel like arguing... As I said, I hope the situation gets better, and maybe the whole thing will bring your family closer. I'll keep your mom in my thoughts as well. *hugs* |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 31765
I didn't see anyone say you should allow your mother to be abused. Your sister displayed verbal abuse. Perhaps she was angry. Did that make her behavior right? Not in my opinion. Solving problems requires rational thought. Usually, it's better to walk away and cool off before dealing with a situation as volatile as this one seems to be. Take some breaths, deep ones. I honestly don't believe anyone is here to attack or belittle you. I think what we were trying to do is perhaps point out different ways to handle situations such as this. Again, I do wish you luck in resolving this. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Thanks Amanda, but understand that I am one of the most responsible people in this world. I DO take resposibility for my actions. And the resposibility in this case is... I am resposible for one person from now on - ME. I do not regret smacking her upside the back with a shoe, because apparently it was the only way to get the message accross to her that she was no longer welcome in my home. Otherwise she would probably be the one sitting here now, tyoing away, telling her friends what an AWFUL person I am, for telling her to leave. And then she would trapse off to ther room, and forget anything ever happened. But not this time. I have had ENUFF. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 61893
Do you think when a parent has to punish their children that they like it? No, they don't, or at least they shouldn't. Seems to me that Miss C. was being a parental figure and punished her sister in THAT form. No, most parents or parental figures hit their children with shoes, the point is I don't honestly think that Miss C. got off on hitting her, she is just saying that she is GLAD that she stood up for herself and her mother. I don't think this was the best way to handle the situation, but I am not here to judge people. My dad use to spank me with a belt, he didn't like doing it, I was mad at him at the time, but I sure did respect him! I have never spanked my childern with a belt, but I have smacked their hands and even their bottoms once or twice. I kinda know where Miss C. is coming from. I have a 21 year old cousin, whom I love dearly, I changed her diapers and feel like she is mine. When she needs a good talking to, I do it. If she ever did anything that she KNOWS she shouldn't do "that is wrong,bad..etc" I would spank her bottom and she is GROWN! She knows I will, and she respects me for that. I care enuff to try to get her to do right. Some people don't. Heck, I am 27 and my dad would still spank my bottom if I got outta line..lol and I love him for that! I wouldn't want it any other way. It shows me that he cares and loves me. I never thought in a million years that I would actually thank my dad for spanking me when I was a child, I am glad he did, because if he didn't my life would be a mess right now. Good luck Miss C. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
ok, no. you are not hearing what I am saying. She doesn't care! I can cool off, all I want to, when I come back it would have been the same thing. She is an excellent master of tunning out. And I had enough. She didn't want to listen when I told her the first few times. FINE, i will do SOMETHING to get the message accross. I am SICK of asking nicely, and trying to bend to everyone elses comfort zone, and supporting people. And missingout on all the things a single woman my age should be doing, so that everybody else can go to concerts, and eat out, and go to the beach! I am sick of payng the bills, and scrimping my last couple of dollars for a salad while she goes to the mall and has TGI'S. I am TIRED, I am ILL, and I don't need the hassle of an ingratefull little fool in my house, who thinks she is the queen of the castle, and has no one to answer to but herself. |
Date: 4/10/2003 8:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 45619
i dunno, i agree with base....not the most mature thing to do. if anything, just throw her out and let her fend for herself, but hitting her with a shoe seems a little excessive. i'm 17 and i rarely hit my 15 year old sister anymore. only when i'm really pissed, and usually i just swear at her. don't you think there could have been a more productive way of getting her to wake up? like talking to her, or even just kicking her out would probably have made her wake up. i dunno....seems to me you could have just made things worse....  |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:19:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
THANK YOU BABYGULRL! You got the picture! |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 31765
It looks like there's a lot more to this than you first said. It's not just your sister's taking advantage, it's everyone? It sounds like life frustrations and stresses are getting to you. And it sounds like maybe everything just exploded. So with this final reply, all I can say is this. Our tempers can at times flare and overwhelm us. I don't know you, or your family, or your past, but you seem so angry. I hope for your sake, and I mean this sincerely, that something improves for you. Best of luck. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
Author, my sisters and I got into some knock down drag out fights as kids. I have hit my sister before, sure when I 10. This has nothing to do with violence. I have actaully counciled abuse victims. I know what violence is. And what transpired in my house today, was FAR from violent. Now, had I lunged at her, choked her, and and then beat on her with a shoe until my hnds were bloody, SURE I would be wrong! But today went beyond self control. It went beyond respect. It went WAY beyond patience. There was no more of that to speak of in my heart. I do love my sister very much. I have to be up for work in four more hours, but I can't sleep because I don't know where she is, who she is with, or what has eaten today. But I will not apologize or feel bad for throwing a shoe at her from accross the room. She knew full well, she was pushing me beyond the limit. I warned her. I told her, "Penny, talk to me, you had better turn around and talk to me, because I have NO pateince left" She KNEW. But she didn't care. And I am willing to bet that she still doesn't/ She doesn't care that I am up worried sick about where she is or who she is with. She doesn't care that I am going to be here all alone, she doesn't care that every sacrifice I have made in the last four months was all so she could have a place to warm at night, and have three square meals a day. She doesn't care that I moved into this Crappy house so that she wouldn't loose her precious boyfriend. She TOLD me so. According to her, it isn't her problem that I have som nay bills to pay, or that between her and her exboyfriend they ran up a 200 dollar electric bill. I think if there was any abuse goign on here, it was the other way around. And I stood up for myself. |
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Date: 4/10/2003 8:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49101
^When I WAS 10 |
Date: 4/10/2003 9:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 59418
Miss C, i'm so sorry about all this, it sounds like your having a tough time at home. If you need to talk, you can msg me anytime. *hugs*  |
Date: 4/10/2003 9:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 53427
After reading this I can honestly say that I probably would have done the same thing (if not worse). Yes, violence isn't the answer. But people can only be pushed so far. Good luck to you Miss C. and I hope your family problems get better soon for everyone's sake.  |
Date: 4/11/2003 8:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 9509
I read your post and I agree with you wholeheartedly. No one should treat their mothers with disrespect. Maybe what you did will teach your sisters a lesson in life and they should learn to live for themselves and not off other people like your mom. Good Day!  |
