Don't mess with mothers

I got this in an email, and don't know who the author is to credit, but got a kick out of it and thought I'd share a bit of humor. Enjoy!

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.

Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today, the "Children's Bill of Rights."

It says I need not clean my room, nor have to cut my hair.

No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or even what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless of what you say,

I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue and nose.

I can read and watch just what I like, and get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me, my body's for MY use,

Not for your hugs and kisses, that is just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you.

That's nothing more than mind control, and it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,

Or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as the C.S.D.

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully. I couldn't let this one go.

A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a Pro.

Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.

I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts and pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D. They said they didn't care

If I bought you K-Mart shoes, instead of Nike Air.

I've also canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.

The C. S. D. is unconcerned, so I will decide what's best.

I said "There is no time to stop and eat, or to pick up stuff to munch.

Oh, and tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own bag lunch.

Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.

He asked, "Can I rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?

"Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room, so you'll take the couch instead.

The C. S. D. requires we provide just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski, your dirt-bike and roller blade.

Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights," It's in effect today!

Hey, Hot Shot, are you crying? Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out, instead of the C.S.D...?

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