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Date: 5/12/2003 9:53:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Here is what I think...for a girl I think she needs to be at least 13 before she can go out on a chaperoned "date". For a date alone I think she would need to be at least 15 but probably more like 16. For a boy I would probably say teh same thing 13 for a chaperoned date adn 15 or 16 before he could be alone on a date. I would prefer my kids do double date with another couple though kinda like there is safety in munbers I guess. As for the birth control issue I would hope if my daughter or son was ready for that they would come to me first and I would help them in whatever way possible...I am not advocating it but I would want them to be prepared.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 9:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 53284
I let my kids do coed group things in junior. I did not allow one on one dating until they were 16. I made every effort possible to keep them interested in education, sports, FFA, 4H, art, music. I was working on the theory that if they had enough to do that they wouldn't feel the need to start dating young. For my kids it seemed to work.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 9:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 3688
I was allowed to group date at 14, and singly at 16....I think that's plenty old enough, and I absolutely think they should be provided with birth control as soon as they start dating, it doesn't mean you're giving them permission to become active, but it is a means of keeping them safe.  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 9:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 3688
oops that should be 13 not 14 lol |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 600
I have both a daughter and a son and fully intend to hold strong to the no dating until you are 16 rule. As for group "events" such as dances and things, my daughter has gone this year and she is 13 years old. The dances are chaperoned or she would not have been allowed to go.  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:05:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Dreamer Poet I thought that would be ok for them also. I just sometimes find it strange that people feel differently about boys dating then they do girls. |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:06:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
TAC I sometimes tell me daughter I will not let her out of the house til she is 30 LOL but 16 is good for me. My husband says he does not want her to date until she is 18 but he feels 16 is old enough for the two boys...Go figure I dont get that logic |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:10:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
WildBob I try to keep my kids active also...my daughter has church three nights a week by her choice and she has outings with the youth group of her church my son spends alot of time with his grandparents and he helps them out by doing yard work and such...they pay him a little bit of money to do it also. My youngest is not quite shown any interest in anything yet. My daughter has joined chorus for school next year and they will be doing lots of public performances so I am sure that will also keep her busy and school is her priority right now. She wants to be valedictorian of her class...she has wanted that since she was like 9 I think. She does notice boys and she has had her "boyfriends" which is really more like a good friend who happens to be a boy. Right now my older son does not like girls and my youngest is still to young to worry about. |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 3688
it's the old double standard....lol boys aren't able to get pregnant...so they're seen differntly  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
YES* |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Ues but just like I tell my husband they may not be able to become a mom but tehy can become a dad which makes them just as responsible for that child. I hate those double standards.... |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 3688
I'm not fond of the double standard either, so i know what ya mean  |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 44321
I say about 13 boy or girl for a chaperoned date type thing or a group outing type date,and I say around 16 boy or girl for an actual alone going to see a movie and eat dinner type date I think around the dating age I would make sure that birth control was available,not to say hey here it is go ahead, but just a way to be safe.  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:17:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Yes Medusa that sounds reasonable... |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 28848
16 with by herself. 13-15 with parents. and under 13 either not at all or with a big group of friends. And my views apply to boys as well. And yes, I do want my daughter to have BC. Probably are the age of sixteen.  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 44321
My husband told me it does not matter to him the age,when the time comes for dating it will happen ,and that what I just commented with my views, sounds overbearing I went out on group things when I was about 13 had a steady boyfriend when I was 18 so I don't think what I said is overbearing at all lol |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 44321
Dreamer Poet..that double standard stuff stinks..sure they might not be able to get pregnant but the girl they are seeing just might  he double standard thinkers need to open the old eyes more LOL |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Release Me thanks for your opinions...I thought about soemthing else...when my daughter goes on her outings with the youth group there are about 15 kids that go both boys and girls some older then her some about teh same age I think she is close to the youngest in the group but that is not really like dating IMO. If it waas a group of friends going to say the movies and it was coed I would not have a problem as long as I knew all the friends and approved of who she was going with. There have been a few kids she liked that I just could not tolerate for one reason or another and most of the time after a few weeks or months she would just stop speding time with them as much. |
Date: 5/12/2003 10:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 13283
This is very terrifying ! My stepdaughter had a boyfriend last year , but thankfully it ended shortly ( WHEW!) . She went to the opening of Xmen Unite with a guy recently . I told my wife to go with them and sit inbetween , but for some reason my stepdaughter was against this . It will be a while before my kid sees that guy again . I think they should wait till they are 17 or 18 . The Texas legal age . We all know how hormonal and agressive teen boys are . They ONLY have one thing on their mind ! Razzy aka  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:28:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
LOL @ Medusa...I know first hand what happens when you g out on dates to young...you are not mature enough to handle what is going on adn sometimes things happen. Even though I love my daughter more then anything in this world I was not ready when I got pregnant. If my husband had been a different type of man and took off I really do not know how I would have handled raising her on my own. That is why I think that she shoudl be at least 16 but my veiws may even change by that age and when she does go uot she would have a 10pm curfew on week nights and 12 on weekends. She would have to bring every boy home she wanted to go out with and I would have to approve of what they were doing. In other words if tehy were just going to hang out I would not like that but if they had a plan like say dinner and movies or bowling or maybe going to the mall(all things the kids around here like to do) then I would say ok...maybe I am a little strict I dont know but I dont want my daughter to regret anything when she gets older and I certainly dont want her to come to me and say Mom why did you let me do this or that... |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:30:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Yes Royal Uzi but to be fair it is not just the teen boys the girls can be just as boy crazy |
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Date: 5/12/2003 10:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 46139
I think 16 is the perfect age unchaparoned but 14 and 15 should be chaparoned.I would get her protection at age 14 because kids do sneak out and skip school and all that sort of thing.Boys don't mature as fast as girls but there pride and need for independents strikes them at the age of 13 & 14 so that's when they should have a little more freedom.I think it's basiclly up to the parentsbut my advice to mothers with girls would be to monitor them closely.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 11:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 48858
I believe it's a maturity issue. Hopefully, parents would know the right time for their children to start dating by how responsible they are in their daily life. A lot of times, parents really have no say, though.  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 11:14:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Lievout(not sure if that is the right name or not) I agree kids will sneak around if they think they can get away with it....I would defenitely go by each kids maturity lever also...but 16 is a guideline as to when I think would be the earliest they would be ready |
Date: 5/12/2003 11:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 42568
Well I think if a girl needs "chaperones" while on a date, she shouldn't be on that date in the first place. I think 18 is a good age to start dating, but that doesn't mean girls will actually wait that long. I believe everyone should get to know a person first, before they jump into anything ... just so you know if you'll like the person a year later. Too often do people get emotionally attached to the wrong people. High standards and knowing what type of person you're looking for keeps you from dating just anyone, and at a young age.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 11:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 25438
The more you let them get away with the less they will need to hide. Be reasonable but if they want to date at 14 or 15 let them go....trust me if they want to do bad things they will...wether its at a date or at a girlfriends house. Just keep an open relationship with your kids and make sure they feel comfortable telling you things. And put all of them on birthcontrol....just in case. It doesn't hurt!  |
Date: 5/12/2003 1:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
for me it was always 13-14 for group stuff...and 16 for one on one...  |
Date: 5/12/2003 1:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 60685
In my opinion around 16 years old, that's if she's going out alone with the boy,and say she wants to date at 13/14 I think it would be ok with chaperones. Just make sure you put all the cards on the table as soon as posible so later when she wants to argue a point you will have something to build on. As for guys, until she's about 16 I would ask her to steer clear from 18 year old guys or older. Also as she starts dating do ask her to check in with you at certain times (if she's gonna be out late), don't however call her and scream at her on the phone for it will embarrass her and she will be less likely to take you into consideration in the future when it comes to dating(i.e. rebel), in other words if you call keep it simple and if needed scream at her after she gets home. In general, do have some limits set but try to be both a mother and a friend and everything should be fine, that way if she feels the need to ask for advice she will come to you instead of going to her friends who will definitely not be as wise as her mom. I hope I've helped. Best of luck and lots of patience  *Hugs*  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 1:29:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Well my daughter understands where I am coming from I have told her how I feel about everything and have been very open with her and right now at the age she is now she says school is most important to her. She wants to get a really good education and go to college and get her degree although she still has no decided what she wants to be...a teacher, doctor, lawyer, vetenarian you name LOL so hopefully these will remain her priorities and boys will be something she will worry about afterwards...not likely but I can dream I suppose |
Date: 5/12/2003 1:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 57404
I was allowed to group date at the age of 13, and was able to go out on a date with my boyfriend when I was 15. Even then my mom wasn't comfy with the idea, but she knew she had to give me some trust. LOL I remember her telling me this. "If he doesn't walk you to the door at the end of the date, you won't be going out with him again." He walked me to the door. lol God Bless  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 1:36:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
LOL Chrerokee Wolf...my mom washardly ever home when I went out on dates and hardly ever home when I got back from them. I dated a few guys before I met my husband and I was allowed to go on a obne on one date when I was 14 of course with my sister it was 16 and then 15 with my next oldest sister tehn with me and my other sister it was 14. She just did not care anymore when it came time for me to do things. It was not that she trusted me either it was more or less I did whatever I wanted. I thought it was cool at teh tiem but now I wish she would have been around more...showed more interest in what I am doing and who I was with and maybe even encouraged me to accomplish more like I do with my kids. I know they will probably resent it when they get older most kids do but they will realize I am only doing for their own good. It is kind of interesting though that everyone was around 16 when they started dating...I would be interested in knowing how old the older people on this site were and what the standards for that were when they were growing up. |
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Date: 5/12/2003 1:37:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Becky that is what it seems is the standard for everyone... |
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Date: 5/12/2003 1:37:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Bethann that makes alot of sense...thanks for your input |
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Date: 5/12/2003 1:39:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53900
Blue KNight I know they will do pretty much whatever they want if tehy think they can get away with it I am hoping my kids will not feel the need to do most of teh things their peers will be doing...thanks for your input |
Date: 5/12/2003 3:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 36956
I'm gonna be very honest here! My parents were very open with me and my brother, had strict rules, and were open enough to tell me that when I thought I was ready. Come to them for birth control. Lets just say I knew between right and wrong, yet I went and did the wrong anyways. No matter how close you think you are with your children there are still things that they will say"Is to personal to share with Mom or Dad"! I got pregnant at 15, knowing full well that my parents said come to me first. I trusted my parents, yet to me that was the last thing I would have admitted to them. I have 2 sons now, and I for one wont let them date one on one until at least 16. My oldest is already 14. Just speaking from experience. Its a scary thought.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 4:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 42464
My mom lets me do double dating she is for that whole safety in numbers thing. I just started to go out on dates and I'm 16 and started to have to have boyfriends at 12.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 4:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
My daughter turned 13 in December and just this weekend coming up she will be on her first "date". She will be double dating with her best friend and her boyfriend, they will be going to a burger joint for dinner and then to the movies. I will be driving them to the different events but I will NOT be sitting with them or even interfering in their lives. I trust my daughter completely and feel that she has earned that trust. As for birth control, well, not until she is 15 and then it is for her, not for her to have sex but just to know she is safe. Both my children have a saying that they have had since they were 10-11. "Wrap your love in a glove" corny but they believe it. They also know about AIDS, HIV, HPV, and all other STDs and date rape. Go with your instincts, just remember to always treat your child with respect.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 4:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 27705
probably like 13 or 14 would be the best  |
Date: 5/12/2003 4:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 13886
I'd say atleast 45 :P. I'd say generally 13 to 14 supervised and 15-16 alone. Of course this also depends on the maturity of the person and the types of stuff they are liable to do behind your back.  |
Date: 5/12/2003 4:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 24732
Old enough to purchase firearms.  |
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Date: 5/12/2003 4:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 53284
In reality I won't let my daughter date until she is married. |
Date: 5/12/2003 4:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 8278
my sons father and i have this argument all the time. he thinks it is OK for boys to date earlier than girls. i say 16 years old for both! i would like to think that i would be OK giving my child birth control...but i probably would feel funny doing that. it's so hard to explain, but i would be afraid that they would think i was telling them to go out and do it. but i would definitly be more comfortable giving them birth control than being a grandma when my child is 16. so i probably would. i always tell Monte that my son is not allowed to date until he is 40. maybe i can actually make that happen. LOL  |
Date: 5/12/2003 5:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i don't think kids who are in the "tween" should be dating(that is 9 to 14) at that age i don't think they should be thinking and experimenting with the dating world and how far it can go... at 15... dating but nothing one-on-one or in a private location(parents should know were there child is!) i think kids now a days are getting too many freedoms and too much independance 15 is a good age to start but the sex talk should be brought up before that.. you can't stop teens from doing it.. just make sure they are informed of what can happen  |
Date: 6/2/2003 9:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 29262
I think at 13 a group date and maybe 15 or 16 date. I am 14 and I have dated once but it wasn't real serious. And it won't be until you get older. Thats why I think the going age is 15. I would NEVER give my daughter birth control. I mean then the girls would think they can do it. And I know people who have gotton pregnant off the pills anyway.  |
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