Date: 5/24/2003 6:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
it sounds like it might be......  |
Date: 5/24/2003 6:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 42792
It could be. You should contact the local child services agency and let them investigate it to determine whether it is or not. You can call anonymously.  |
Date: 5/24/2003 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 22852
That fact that the father kept hitting the child over and over to me may be a sign of child abuse. I mean if the parent did this with company in the house, just what is he doing when no one is there. This is a hard one to call, I would call child services and let them decide.  |
Date: 5/24/2003 6:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 53836
Unless you saw him striking the boy, and it was elsewhere than his bum, than I'd stay out of it. I can spank my nephew so lightly that it should tickle and he screams bloody murder...I am not saying this wasn't abuse, but since you only heard things and didn't see, it's more an assumption than anything else. You should concider having that friend stay nights at your house instead and just stay out of it :)  |
Date: 5/24/2003 7:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 55499
yes it is child abuse..i know this because my two daughters are being abused by there father and i cant stop it because he has custody of my two young daughters...kim...  |
Date: 5/24/2003 7:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 1799
yeah, that is child abuse. and it should be reported.  |
Date: 5/24/2003 7:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 61946
OMG, YES that was child abuse and no child should have to go through that, if I were you I would turn it in.  |
Date: 5/24/2003 9:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
YES YES YES YES and YES... you heard it you probally saw some effects... your friend has probally seen it and so has the mother... just because it doesn't leave a bruise doesn't mean it's not child abuse  |
Date: 5/24/2003 9:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 55536
Yes this is child abuse. You can check my web page for more info. Making the decision to report the abuse is a moral responisbility. You are not legally obligated to report and it doesn't matter if you heard it and did not see it. . . . No child deserves to be treated that way even if they do lie. You can report this anonymously however the family will probably know you were the person to call since you were the one there. . . It is important to be aware of something. The parents might forbid you and your friend from getting together. And your friend might even turn her back on you for "causing trouble". This is not an easy situation. I can only imagine how you feel about hearing such an event. . . Only you can decide - the child's welfare or possible problems in your friendship. If they do this to one child there is a really good chance they are doing it to others in the family and that could include your friend. If you decide you want to talk to someone about this and possibly report it open your phone book to the front and look for the emergency numbers. They are usually on the first page. You can call just for information about what reporting means and what happens without telling them who. If you feel safe doing that you might want to talk to them some more and tell them what happened. Take it slow. You might prevetn someone from really getting hurt and help them get the help they need now  |
Date: 5/24/2003 10:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
How is this even a debate!??!  |
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Date: 5/24/2003 10:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 61946
If you haven't seen or heard the song concrete angel then mayby you should listen to it and watch the video, it is about an abused child and the child ends up dieing. Please make a wise decision. |
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Date: 5/24/2003 10:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 61946
I'm sorry if that last comment sounded rude or hateful, but I can't stand to hear or see a child being abused. I am currently going through problems with the welfare because they took my kids away from me because of my mother not me.
Please understand that I'm not trying to be rude or anything to you. |
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Date: 5/24/2003 10:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 61946
I agree with you beckydewdrop, I know it sure wouldn't be foe me. |
Date: 5/24/2003 10:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
Does your conscience hurt? How can you even ask? WHEN are you going to do report it?  |
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Date: 5/24/2003 10:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
Do you REALLY think a child should be hit over and over? Do you have to ask? Do YOU think he is "asking" for it? You may be able to help this child, the question is, will you? |
Date: 5/24/2003 10:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 24924
The man was beating his kid just because he slammed a door? Over and over and over....IS abuse. Going BACK again, more beating, and then telling him to shut up and go to sleep...IS more abuse. How very sad. Nothing a child does warrants sadistic beating and such abuse. Make that call.  |
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Date: 5/24/2003 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
WHAT DO YOU THINK? you were there and had firsthand insight in this. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? |
Date: 5/24/2003 11:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 54987
It's surprising how many mothers will turn a blind eye to their husbands child abuse. You risk losing your friend, but at least YOUR conscious would be clear.  |
Date: 5/24/2003 11:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 51393
For one thing people amissed when they call the superiors to look out for anyone.Let me give you example :Why CPS will not pursue?1.Children could be in fear of not speaking about their abused parents.2No marks or sign of abused.3 Callers may have concluded and abused and no certain time or actual abused has been exposed or told to CPS.4 EVidence video tape if not shown it will be dropped.Now before you make any move be sure you have a tape recorder or video taped time and date when it happened.If not and you did not bring all these evidence to their attention.You could be sued a liability as harrassment,slandering and so forth.CPS also are liable to be sued .Before you make an attempt .Be sure to research what rights and liability you have.I am not saying not to protect those children ,but like i said .If you are not careful .Be ready to pay hefty on slandering .Just a thought :D  |
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Date: 5/25/2003 12:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393
LADYLEE ...study some more how much rights you have :D...You people are missing a lot what rights we all truly have :D....I told you all once before becareful when calling on anyone .You will pay a hefty price for it :D.... |
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Date: 5/25/2003 12:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393
Lawyers of their own has ways to get your information.So when you call do not call from home.Phone booth if you must.DO not give out your actual name so you will not be liable for anything....:D |
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Date: 5/25/2003 12:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393
DO not give out your information at all :D....They will ask so better make up for one ...:D |
Date: 5/25/2003 2:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 62146
Poor kid to me that is child abuse the father really should not do that.
*Cosmic Feak*  |
Date: 5/25/2003 9:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 54532
OMG that sounds horrible. But I wouldnt call it child abuse. What u may be seeing may not be whats happening you know? God Bless Lilliana  |
Date: 5/25/2003 9:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 61104
OK since you did not SEE what happened you cannot asume it was abuse. The child might have been getting a spanking. Granted that slamming a dorr was not a good enough reason for a spanking. But for throwing something at the parent I think that is grounds for a spanking and so is lieing (sp?). I can understand your concern. I would be too but you have to concider that you did not get the whole situation. Maybe the child had been told over and over and over again not to slam the dorr and that was punishment for doing after being told a million times. That is if it was a spanking. All you said was hitting but you did not see it so it quite possibly could have been a spanking. My children will get 1 lick on the behind and they are screaming like someone is killing them. So I think you might have misunderstood the situation. BB:) :) :)  |
Date: 5/25/2003 12:27:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
Thanks GothGirl. My friend is handicapped. I could probably ask someone about it... like the councelor at school or something  |
Date: 5/25/2003 3:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
I guess for all those who say stay out of it, it doesn't really matter if a child is being abused. Where do you draw the line? A smack on the butt, a cigarette on the hand. seriously, where? I would like to think that if ever I heard something like that, that I would have enough gumption to have it investigated. the one time you "let it go", "don't want to get involved" may be the time a child gets seriously injured.  |
Date: 5/25/2003 4:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 43948
OF COURSE this is child abuse! and you have every right as a citizen and a friend to report this so social services, or whatever it may take to stop it. People make me sick  |
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Date: 5/25/2003 4:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 61104
But ppl JF did not see ANYTHING. JF only heard soemthing. Seeing and hearing are 2 different things. I draw the line at anything MORE than a spanking. My kids scream like soemone is killing them if you out them in the corner. Are you going to caal the CPS because a child is screaming in the corner? If the kids did not have marks on him then it is not child abuse. It is possible he did not get smacked he got spanked and that is totally within the law. JF do you have any kids? How many of you replying have kids? How would you feel if you were wrong and this child got taken from the parents that Love him just because you THOUGHT you HEARD something that actually wasn't what you thought it was? You would feel awful because you caused that child unhappiness that it did not have to endure. For all of you who think a spanking is a horrible awful thing, do you have kids? If so I would like to see you when they are wlking all over you and ending up in juvenile Hall or soemthing. Or worse you are waking up and they have a gun pointed at your head. Or maybe that is what it is going to take before you all get a clue. I was spanked and I have not been in anykind of trouble with the law or anyhting else in my whole life. Think about how your kids are gonna treat you if you do not let them know what thery cannot get away with. |
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Date: 5/25/2003 4:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 55536
Diana - different places - different rights. Actually I do agree about using the pay phone when reporting something. And the point of reporting is so that hopefully CFS will do an investigation. If nothing is wrong fine but if there is something wrong then it should be looked into. |
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Date: 5/25/2003 5:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 55536
Goth Girl - leaving marks on the child is not a sign of whether abuse has occured or not. Many scars are on the inside. There are better and more effective ways to teach a child responsibility and respect than physical force and hitting and screaming. Believe me my parents were very careful not to leave marks - at least not where anyone would see them. There was nothing loving about their "discipline". I used to spank my kids when they were small. Then I got counseling for all the abuse in my life. And I learned other ways to teach them - through love and caring and respect for who they were as people. And nope they never put a gun to my head. Actually teaching children that hurting the less powerful is probably a better way to get the gun to your head than not spanking them. . . . I have often called the police because of things I heard. As a counselor for abused womenI know that this might be the only thing that saves a person's life - one person who hears what is going on and calls for help. The police do not need eye-witnesses. Hearing it is enough to get the police there to investigate |
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Date: 5/25/2003 5:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
Goth Girl I have two children 12 and 13. They are constantly praised by other adults with regards to their manners and general outlook. I have never once had to smack them. If there is a chance that the father was smacking on him, and yes I think there was a huge chance he was because she heard flesh hitting flesh, then I think she has an obligation to help the child. If the parents are truly doing nothing wrong then nothing will happen to them but if there is abuse maybe they will get the help they need before a child ends up dead. |
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Date: 5/25/2003 7:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
Gothgirl, I thought you were a teenager. Im only 16, I don't have any kids and dont plan on having them until Im married and have been married at least two years. I don't believe that whipping your child is wrong, as long as the "punishment fits the crime". I think that all parents have the right to disapline their child as they see fit, but Im wondering if its right for a man to constantly whip his child over and over and over again? |
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Date: 5/25/2003 7:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 52140
and I mean smacking hard, and I could hear it pretty good and it sounded hard, just for slamming the door |
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Date: 5/25/2003 8:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 61104
Magi I would like to point out that I did not say anyone smacked there kids. And second of all every child is different soem children behave well from the start and then there are others whom it takes a little more than a gentle voice and a trip to time out to do anything for them. You are one of those parents that I envy (for lack of a better word) The only one of my 3 children that behaves 99% of the time is the baby. I am happy for you that your children are so well behaved but mine are not and more often tham ot other children are not that is just how the cookie crumbles. Do not get me wrong I love my babies with all my heart. Just wish they were better behaved and I think that the fact that I care enough to spank them when the crime fits it shows how much I love them. I do not want them to grow up thinking that they can get away with everything. I want them to learn that there are consequeces for their actions. Because when they are adults thye will not be lucky enough to get a pop on the hand or the behind when they do something bad they will go to jail where goddess only knows what will happen to them in there. BB:) :) :) |
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Date: 5/25/2003 9:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
Well I never said you said that someone was being hit, the author said it up there in the post! My children have disobeyed but instead of hitting I taught them by consequences. Each action has an equal reaction. I am not saying I am the best parent in the world but I do know that my children will never ever have to worry about being hit. |
Date: 5/25/2003 9:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 15070
o.k. Admin with the "ichy" delete button, what was wrong with my comment????? I have intervened, I have called HRS, and I have confronted people I saw smacking their kids.....now, what was wrong with that??????  |
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Date: 5/26/2003 5:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 55653
That is likley not child abuse, Becuase it could be the father Disaplinting him, if people never disiplined there children they would run wild and break things. so it might not be child abuse, its Child abuse when the father does that and the child didint do anything. |
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Date: 5/26/2003 6:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 55536
Just where is that line between a spanking and abuse? Is it OK to hit a child as long as you don't leave marks? Is it ok to bruise them if they talked back? Is it OK to scream in their face? Is it OK to lock them in their room without food? A child bangs the door and dad has a fit yelling and hitting the child. Is this abuse or discipline? What exactly does the child learn in this case? Not to slam doors? Or to be scared and feel unloved and uncared for? In the situation above was there any mention of an attempt on the part of the father to talk calmly with the child? Did anyone do that? Even the mother backed down and said the child deserved it. Seems to me in the example above the parent lost his temper and let it out on a child. There was no attempt to teach the child except that if you do something I don't like I will unleash my rage on you. Great lesson. |
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Date: 5/26/2003 7:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 61104
I am sorry but I would much rather yell at my kids than knock them across the room. And you canot call a spanking child abuse. Lady Lee do you have kids? Sometimes they just take you to the end of you rope and there is no calmness left. I give my children chance after chance after chance to change their behavior and to stop whatever it is they are doing and then after about 5 chances they get a spanking. I think that is reasonable. I am not some parent that uses spanking at the first sign of disobedience. I give them many chances to change what they are doing and then after they have been thoroughly warned then I take action. Sometimes that is just standing in the corner other times that is getting a few swats on the behind but they do get warning after warning. |
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Date: 5/26/2003 8:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 55536
Goth if you notoced in my second to last post I said I had kids. I have two daughters who are both now grown and I have a grandchild. Plus I raised my 2 brothers and a sister. . . . Five chances is too many. If they don't listen after one chance then do something. Don't wait until you are so fed up and angry that YOU resort to hitting. Then that is YOUR anger getting acted out and is no longer "discipline" - Take it from one who has been there |
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Date: 5/26/2003 10:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 61104
You know lady lee I was raised getting spanked and so was my mother and so was my grandmother and they are wonderful ppl and I did not turn out bad. As I said before I have NEVER been in trouble with the law and I only got into trouble one time in school. I would say I turned out just fine. And no I do not act out of anger when I get angry I walk away into another room and breath for a few minutes and then I go back to discipline. I am sorry I did not read that comment. I do not have time to read each and every comment. Every kid is different and soemtimes thay need a little corporal punishment. You ask some of these ppl whose children are out of control. Ask them if they spank their childre and I garantee that most (NOT ALL) will say no. I am determined that my kids are not going to treat me or any other elder disrespectfully. Thay will know that when they do something bed then they have to suffer the consequences. Most of the time the corner does not work for my children they have to have a good old fashioned spanking on the behind. I am loving and caring and trusting person and you know what I am the product of a parent that spanked me and I am very glad my mother spanked me. Because that helped me learn right from wrong. I also have respect for her that I do not think I would have had otherwise. I see these mothers crying and sobbing on tv talk shows about how their kid is out of control and they do NOT spank that child and that child is hitting them and cussing at them and you know what? I be darned if my kids are going to treat myself or anyone else the way those children were treating their parents. |
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Date: 5/26/2003 10:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 61104
Also like I said earlier you do not know what the situation was. The kid may have been warned over and over and over again and still did not listen. Then the spanking is no longer just for slamming the door it is for a blatent disregard to what the father said and I am sorry if my child is going to LIE then yes he is going to get a spanking for it. Would you rather me put soap into his mouth? That is what many ppl do when a child back talks or lies. But I do not. I am not going to stick a chemical into my childs body. And also like it was said before different places different ways. I live in SOUTHEAST Alabama and alot of ppl around here are country folk and that is how it is done around here. 75% of ppl around here spank there children and will admit to it maybe another 10% do not have to but another 15% lie and say they do not. I do not like to spank my children but I do it when all else fails. It makes me hurt more than it hurts them. I am not a bad parent and I do not appreciate my parenting being judged by ppl who do not know me or my kids and by ppl who have kids that just behave. My best friend's kids are like yours they listen 90% of the time and they rarely get a spanking and my kids will even go weeks without one but when it calls for it they get it. Thank you and BB:) :) :) |
Date: 5/27/2003 11:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 61999
Gee Whiz, what was he hitting the kid with? IMO, it sounds like abuse to me. I mean, I believe in spankings but SHEESH to come back in and hit the kid again? And for the KID to have enough ANGER to throw something?! When I was a kid [I was a spanked kid, BTW]I knew I had done something wrong and I didn't get angry about it. Definitely abuse for that kid to exhibit such anger. I'm scared and I'd probably just as freaked as you were, hearing that kid get beaten...~~The Mighty DreamGyrl~~  |
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Date: 5/27/2003 1:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 53836
I am 100% with GothGirl on this~ |
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Date: 5/27/2003 2:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 61104
The Mighty Dream Gyrl he was angry because he got in trouble. My boys do it all the time. Thanx space case. They get in trouble and then they are angry because we did not just let them get away with it. |
Date: 5/27/2003 5:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
sounds like the mother is a little mental. of course tht's abuse. so the kid lied. find me one that doesn't at some point in time and i'll walk on water! the dad needs somebody bigger to rattle his cage just like he did the kid. if the kid needs a spanking then spank him and be done with it. i hate so called adults the beat on a kid because they are mad. they need the crap kicked out of them. and that goes for his mother too for not doing anything to stop it.  |
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Date: 5/28/2003 7:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 61999
Hmmm yeah maybe it's because I'm a girl that I didn't feel that way. Thanks, Gothgirl. (Makes mental note: Try NOT to have male children). ~~The Mighty DreamGyrl~~ |
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Date: 5/28/2003 6:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 53836
MDG...yeah, you have to do it on top if you don't want boys...at least that's what I was told...and I like the missionary position, so I ended up with all boys (4) Boys are the best and the worst :) |
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Date: 5/28/2003 6:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 53836
MDG...yeah, you have to do it on top if you don't want boys...at least that's what I was told...and I like the missionary position, so I ended up with all boys (4) Boys are the best and the worst :) |
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Date: 5/28/2003 7:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
My earlier replies to this post were made based on the authors words. "We were in another room relaxing when all of a sudden I
heard the front door slam, a child running to his room (right besid the one we were in) and
then an adult coming in the room. The father said, "I'll teach you not to slam my door." He
grabbed the child and started hitting him over and over again. I was in the other room, so I
didn't see it, but I heard it. The child started screaming. I was freaking out cuz I never heard
anything like this except on the news! The child was screaming and crying and the father told
him to be quiet. I think the boy threw something. Well, he did something that made his dad
mad again, so he went back into the room and started hiting the boy. I think it was pretty hard."
Intially, the father was so angry because the boy "slammed" the door running into the house. Little boys do that. Tell them a hundred times to NOT slam the door and almost every time they do. I'm basically raising my almost four year old and six year old grandson. I CAN'T, JUST CANNOT imagine yelling at one of them that I will "teach them not to slam my door" and then proceed to beat the crap out of them. Of course this is abuse, it turns my stomach just reading about it. The man hits the child repeatly for slamming a door, goes back and hits some more BECAUSE the child is crying, and then tells "the child to shut up and go to sleep". Just reading about it causes my blood to boil along with nausea. I have to wonder what goes on when "company isn't over". Disciplining a child isn't wrong, how its done is another thing. |
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Date: 5/28/2003 11:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
Shadow Ghost you have stated it perfectly!!! I have been trying to say the same thing but people are turning it into a personal spanking issue, the big bully went back in to the child a second time. He was verbally abusive and physically. |
Date: 5/30/2003 8:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
whoa, this is  |
