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Do not Argue with a Child *Juls*

  Author:  18870  Category:(Humor) Created:(7/11/2003 8:53:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (684 times)

I got this in an e-mail and thought I would pass it on cause it's so cute :)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered," Thou shall not kill."



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

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Spring is coming

Replies:      
Date: 7/11/2003 8:57:00 AM  From Authorid: 22992    LOL, these were really funny... I died laughing at the first one, the last one was very funny too. Great post;)  
Date: 7/11/2003 9:11:00 AM  From Authorid: 29532    all I gotta say is.............why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? wow, I am so not looking forward to that question.  
Date: 7/11/2003 9:29:00 AM  From Authorid: 33517    Thanks for sharing...I really liked the last one...**Big Canadian Hugs**  
Date: 7/11/2003 9:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 58611    LOL!!! These were hillarious!  
Date: 7/11/2003 9:55:00 AM  From Authorid: 54968    LOL! I'm bookmarking this one!!!  
Date: 7/11/2003 10:08:00 AM  From Authorid: 44321    Oh man..I loved them all LOL  
Date: 7/11/2003 10:28:00 AM  From Authorid: 37449    LMAOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Date: 7/11/2003 11:50:00 AM  From Authorid: 8278    LOL!!!! these were great! i haven't laughed this much in a while. thanks :)  
Date: 7/11/2003 12:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 53909    LOL!! Those were all so cute and funny! Great post :)  
Date: 7/11/2003 12:58:00 PM  From Authorid: 53900    Those were adorable especialy the one with the 10 commandments..."Thou Shall not kill" LMAO I was cracking up over that one:)  
Date: 7/11/2003 1:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 12823    Its better than "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Pink Bunny. :-P  
Date: 7/11/2003 1:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 53013    LOL! These were GREAT! Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh!!  
Date: 7/11/2003 4:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 46530    this is a bit long, but good. My sister (who is now a USM member) was about two when this happened. She asked our mum if she could have a yoghurt and my mum said that she could. So she went to the fridge and got a yoghurt and sat on the sofa eating it. My mum came back into the room and told her off for eating it with her fingers. My sister pointed it at the telly and said "that womans eating it this way". My mum replied "well she's a dirty woman too." The next advert came on, and it was the same woman on the TV for a washing up liquid ad. "See, she cant be that dirty if she does the dishes!" Squeals my sister delightedly  
Date: 7/11/2003 9:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 62095    I really liked that last one, thanks for sharing. *Cass*  
Date: 7/12/2003 12:44:00 AM  From Authorid: 59940    LMAO at the apples one.I had never heard it before now!  
Date: 7/12/2003 9:22:00 AM  From Authorid: 59897    OMG those were great! my brother was in his curios moments and asked my mom why brides had to wear white on their wedding day instead of others colors, well my mother answer that it was because it was the happiest days of their lives then my brother asked her, then why do the groom were black?  
Date: 7/12/2003 7:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 51456    hilarious.......lol deifiteli bookmarking this!! lol!
natasa'hugz&kissez
  
Date: 7/15/2003 3:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 53558    Thank you for the laugh. I needed it. Great big hugs. Take care.  
Date: 7/15/2003 4:10:00 AM  From Authorid: 28946    The first and the last jokes were the funniest of them all even though they all made me laugh. I could just imagine it all and I still am laughing. Thanks for making my morning start out right with a big ole belly-laugh. LMBO.  
Date: 7/15/2003 12:27:00 PM  From Authorid: 59796    hahahaahah those are GREAT!  
Date: 11/25/2003 1:13:00 AM  From Authorid: 42738    lol those were funny. thanks for sharing them  
Date: 1/23/2004 1:12:00 PM  From Authorid: 12103    These are so cute..i loved them!! :)  

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