An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
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The Four Candles burned slowly. Their Ambiance was so soft, you could hear them speak...
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A man decided to take the opportunity, while his wife was away, to paint the toilet seat. The wife came home sooner than expected, sat and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifted his wife's coat to show the doctor their predicament. The man asked, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor said, "But never framed!"
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A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there are different types of hell. He goes first to the German hell and asks. What do they do here? "He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Haitian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Haitian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells why are there so many people waiting to get in?" Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant, so he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."
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A man entered a stationery store, and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards, and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?" The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers *both* events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday."
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It was a sweltering August day in 1937 when the 3 Cohen brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker (an infamous anti-Semite).
"Mr. Ford", announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three. "We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person", said Norman. After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black automobile parked in front of the building. Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car. "Please step inside, Mr. Ford."
"What!" shouted the tycoon, "Are you crazy? It's over a hundred degrees in that car!"
"It is", smiled the youngest brother, Max.; but sit down Mr.Ford, and push the white button.
Intrigued, Ford pushed the button. All of a sudden a whoosh of freezing air started blowing from vents all around the car, and within seconds the automobile was not only comfortable, it was quite cool.
"This is amazing!" exclaimed Ford. "How much do you want for the patent?'
One of the brothers spoke up: "The price is One Million Dollars." Then he paused. "And there is something else. The name 'Cohen Brothers Air Conditioning' must be stamped right next to the Ford logo on the dash board!"
"Money is no problem," retorted Ford," but there is no way I will have a Jewish name next to my logo on my cars!"
They haggled back and forth for a while and finally they settled. Five Million Dollars, and the Cohens' name would be left off. However, the first names of the Cohen brothers would be forever emblazoned upon the console of every Ford air conditioning system.
And that is why even today, whenever you enter a Ford vehicle, you see those three names clearly printed on the air conditioning control panel.................. NORM, HI and MAX
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The first candle said, "I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit."
Peace
Then Peace's flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely.
The second candle says, "I Am Faith, but these days, I am no longer indispensable."
Faith
Then Faith's flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely.
Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the strength to stay lit any longer." "People put me aside and don't understand my importance. They even forget to love those who are nearest to them."
Love
And waiting no longer, Love goes out completely.
Suddenly...
A child enters the room and sees the three candles no longer burning.
The child begins to cry, "Why are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the end."
Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the young child, "Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we can re-light the other candles."
Hope
With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and lit the other three candles.
Peace Faith Love
Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
Hope
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and are...Peace, Faith and Love can Shine Brightly in our lives.
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