Date: 8/5/2003 10:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i honestly think you should walk... it's hard as hell to do it... but if he is doing this now... he will constantly do this... do you want to marry someone who does this... don't expect him to change.. he will only if HE wants to and hon he doesn't want to  |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:16:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
I know I know *kicks myself* I'm scared though.  |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 4292
ugh..i say dump him..why waste your time on someone whose a control freak, and acts retarded in front of people..lol..  |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i know yoru scared it's very scary and hard to do it... but why settle for something your not happy with and face it your not happy |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 13636
THEY DON'T CHANGE!!!!! take it from me...I'm going through it all now.....but I married him. coming up on a year on New Years Eve....and I already am talking about divorce (not with him yet, though....I'm scared...I dont want to be divorced this young...or early in my marriage...and I dont want to be the one that broke his heart kinda thing). You know what, though? We have to realize we deserve SO much more. They have NO RIGHT to treat us the way they do. You have to be strong now, before you get into something that's harder to get out of. You can get up and walk now...after marriage you gotta deal with papers...and maybe kids. I'm sorry, but all I can say is it most likely will not get better...so you should make your choice now. Good luck...and I'm here anytime you need to talk.  |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Thanks for the comment Tiff...now he says he's leavin tomorrow. Yeah, right. I've heard THAT one before. |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:26:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Thank you B.Gem. I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you either  Where are all the normal guys?! |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Hmmm, yes, I hate to say it but he sounds very immature. I don't think he should marry anyone until he's at least 23. Guys are generally 4 yrs behind in matters of the heart, so to speak. I guess you need to be a bit rougher with him. Tell him that he's acting like an idiot in public when he says nasty things to people. Tell him that he needs to start acting more adult since legally, he now is one. And lastly... tell him that you don't the both of you growing apart so he'd better start growing UP, if he wants to stay at your level! Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.   |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:28:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Thanks You Choose. I think I'll have to get the whip out  I can joke about it, but I'm soo depressed at this point. I feel like I'm stuck because I can't afford this place on my own, and if he leaves, I won't have a car (Well I'll have one, it just doesn't run) |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Man, I've been there. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hardplace as they say. So there's no one else that needs a roommate or someone you could stay with? |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i'm sure you can find a roommate or see about getting a room in a dorm... if you want to you can do it |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:36:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Its a one bedroom apt. I have a lease until NEXT october, and it will cost me like $100 to get out of it! Plus, I've only lived over here for 7 months, and I don't know anyone. I really screwed myself here, I think. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
I don't mean to pry but where is the family? Anywhere near buy or kind of out of sight by choice? I've been there too so I won't judge! I've lived with boyfriends cuz I had no where else to go or felt like I didn't. I know it stinks! |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
What about a sub-lease.... will your landlord let you find another tenant and then they take it over where you left off? I did that once when I was in the same kind of situation. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:41:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Most of my family lives about 3 hours away from here, and that's where his family is, too. My sister lives over here, but I can't ask her for help because shes done way too much for me as it is. And I am kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. I'm only here because I'm going to college here. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
I'll have to contact her to find out. I think she said something about if I wanted out of the apt. I would have to run an add in the paper, and pay for it, and then send the people who were interested to her, or something. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
100 is cheap to get outta a lease... but this comming oct?? that's not tooooo far off....you could easily look in the paper an dpostings on boards i'm sure there are dozens of people with rooms to rent or a person to share a 2 bedroom with even if it's a temp situation |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Do you have any potential roommates from college around or that you go to school with? NOT for them to move in with you but vise versa if you sub-let your apt. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
That's a good idea Midnightly. Thanks you guys. I'm feeling much better about this. I just hope I can make it on my own, if we decide to break up for good. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
No, next October..as in Oct 04 LOL |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Well, I'd shop around so to speak and keep your options open if the worst happens but chances are he'll still be around. I guess the only part I'm really concerned with is the CONTROL issue. I lived with a controlling boyfriend once and he became physically abusive. I just hope you're not feeling afraid of that. |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 3321
What are you talking about? He's a horrible boyfriend. You are talking like an abused housewife who still defends her husband after she "falls down the stairs." Which is where YOU will wind up if you stay with this guy.  |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
No no, He's not physcially abusive at all. His mom used to get beaten by her ex boyfriends, and he watched it happen. He would never ever hit a girl.. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:50:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Perse- I know..That's what I feel like half the time. I wish it were just as easy as saying "Okay, get out." But its not. Man, I should have stayed single! |
Date: 8/5/2003 10:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 20956
i think you seriously need to talk to him about how you feel. you love the guy so it is definatley worth trying to save this relationship but you shouldnt have to put up with his threats and general crap (now you've got me saying it!). good luck  |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
100 bux to break a lease that is over a a year is dang cheap!! alott aplaces around here charge you a whole months rent!! just to break lease with a months notice!!! i know you can make it on your own... |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Well, that's a relief. One less thing to worry about there. I just was worried about cha'! Seriously though, you'll get through this. Like many have said, explore your possibilities...check out who needs a roommate around school. In the mean time, talk, talk, talk to him until your blue in the face and tell him that you are exhausted by all of this. Tell him that he's either got to make some changes or that you will and they'll be without him. I know you have a good heart and it can be hard to dish out some "tough love" but that's what he needs. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Thank you for caring so much guys *HUGS*! Its nice to have people to talk this out with. I'm going to try talking to him, but if that doesn't work, I'm going to talk to my sister, or my mom, and see if they can help me out. Maybe if I start working full time, I can afford this place on my own. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 10:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
When I was in your shoes..... I actually made a deal with my boyfriend that since we weren't getting along but both needed a place to live... one of us would sleep in the living room. I actually decided to take the couch since we agreed that I would pay $100 less per month for not having my own room. After the lease was up, he wanted me to renew it with him and I said... SO LONG! This will show him that you mean business too. I mean if you're sharing a bedroom with him, he's going to realize he's got the control and not take you seriously because chances are, nothing will change. Obviously, he needs a place to stay too and he's on the lease right? So, he isn't entitled to leave anymore than you are without permission from the landlord. |
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Date: 8/5/2003 11:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
I think you're right though, talking to your family may be the right way if things are truly going no where but crazy. Your family would want you to tell them because they don't want to see you unhappy. Good luck sweetie! |
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Date: 8/5/2003 11:00:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 45684
Yes, we're both on the lease. You Choose, you have been sooo much help to me, hon! And Midnightly and Perse, too. I'm going to stand up for myself, finally! |
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Date: 8/5/2003 11:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Stand up for yourself but don't get him to be violent. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt in any way... accidents happen. Just try the suggestions you feel will work best and try to speak to him when he's not in a rage and you're not fighting. God bless you, let us know how it turns out! |
Date: 8/5/2003 11:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 49091
I would say drop his butt, but like you said, its not as easy at is seems. Its very hard to try n stop loving someone you feel you can't live without. Maybe he'll mature with age. He's still a teen. Maybe as he gets older he'll discover he is acting like a child n start acting his age. I really don't know what to say in tis sitution because droping him sounds like the easiest thing to do, but the hardest to acomplish. I am srry your having a rough time. *Many huggs of cheer* I hope it gets better! Much Bubbly Luv ~*Sarah*~  |
Date: 8/6/2003 1:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 35160
i went through the same thing once, he accused me of cheating when i wasnt., turns out he was the 1 cheating all along.....he will not change, i know its hard , but it sounds like ur way better off finding some1 who will respect u ALL of the time.  |
Date: 8/6/2003 3:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 23796
Sounds like your boyfriend is incredibly insecure. What you need to do is put your foot down now. If he thinks you are cheating on him, sometimes thats a sign of someone who may be cheating or thinking about cheating on you. If he threatens to walk, tell him there's the door. If he thinks your cheating...there's the door. If he threatens to kill himself, say that's your decision and I'm not responsible for it. Men like him don't get better when they are older, especially when people give in to the tantrums. If he brags about having a better job...you know what to tell him?! Yep, your Right, there's the door. You can love a man to death, but loving him doesn't make him stop being a jerk. Tell him to shape up or ship out. Tell him you love him, but you don't have to take his "Crap". There are other fish in the sea, you can always fish you out another one  Stick up for yourself and he may "Snap" out of it.  |
Date: 8/6/2003 7:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 13283
He sounds like he is jealous of the pc ! I used to tick my lady off alot coz i would be laughing my butt off and having a great time on the pc . I think you should invite him to join you . Some guys just dont get it ! Razzy aka  |
Date: 8/6/2003 8:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 53284
Do you want to live like this the rest of your life? You two need some serious counseling or it's time to call it quits.  |
Date: 8/6/2003 8:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 30051
Oh boy..Get out while your ahead!! I hope you listen. He doesn't sound like the ONE. Not a keeper.  |
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Date: 8/6/2003 8:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 30051
BTW crap crapola crapy crappin crapford crapildee-doo-daa..*BBH* |
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Date: 8/6/2003 8:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 30051
You can come stay with me |
Date: 8/6/2003 11:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 62222
This is a situation that can go one way or the other. My sister's ex used to do this all the time and one day he did hit her and she lied about it to her family. Meaning me and my mother. I lived with them at the time and I knew she was lying because she couldn't look me in the face when she said it. 2 weeks later he moved out and we haven't heard from him since. But to be honest I didn't give him the option of staying once she broke down and told me he hit her. I told him he was going out the door and it was up to him whether he went walking upright or if someone was going to have to carry him. This young man you are talking about has severe issues that need to be dealt with. You can choose to stick with him and help him deal or you can walk and make him deal on his own. But whatever happens his anger issues can't be ignored, and his behavior can't be justified. He needs help and I would hate to see it come too late.<regretfulhalo>  |
Date: 8/6/2003 10:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
listen darlin!!! they dont get any better as they get older, so if I was you I'd give him the flick, if he's like this now, woahhhhhhhhh!!!you might love him, but will it be worth it in the long run....he sounds immature to me....sorry sweetie, but thats how it comes across to me....hugs  |
